Monday, January 31, 2005

Busy week ahead

Got a full plate this week, mostly because I've been out of town nearly every week in the past couple of months.

Went to CASA training this morning, first session. It will be fascinating to see what sort of cases I get. I think I'll enjoy this little volunteer sideline, but it might be painful and difficult. Either way, I'm fascinated to find out. I'll probably miss some of the sessions and will have to make them up in the spring, but we'll see what happens.

Not much happening over the weekend, and we didn't really feel like doing much anyway because the weather stinks. Definitely a weekend that makes me look forward to Spring.

Tax time! W2's are in, and I've got to get busy because the FAFSA is due very soon. A strange system when you think about it. Parental income the key factor in their kids' college financial aid package. I'm not sure I have a great alternative to the system; maybe I should give it some thought. It does concern me the apparently huge numbers of college grads that have to start their working lives under the shadow of big debts for their education.

All for another time. If I don't go get lunch right now, the next chance for a meal is way out sometime tonight.


Saturday, January 29, 2005

To Do List

How many people have a To Do List of things they want to do before they die?

I'll share mine here if you promise not to make fun of me. These are the things I'd like to cross of my list before I'm dead.

1. Trim down and get into shape. Sounds easy, right? For some reason it's the hardest thing in the world for me right now.

2. Play in a basketball league. And play well. (requires prerequisite #1 above)

3. Sing for more weddings. I love to sing at weddings.

4. Sing a duet onstage with Celine Dion. And do better than hold my own next to her.

5. Cut my own CD Album. And have lots of people play it and like it. And not care if it ever earned a dime.

6. Dance like I once did. Un-self-consciously. (also requires prerequisite #1 above)

7. Build my dream rec room. With all the great stuff that it should have.

8. Get out of bed every morning with a "can't wait for today" attitude.

9. Take the Alaskan Cruise.

10. Tour the Holy Land.

11. Other trips (not necessarily all of them): British Isles, Germany/Austria, Italy, Greece, Egypt, Australia/New Zealand.

12. Be at weddings for all 3 boys. Be a best friend to them and their wives. Have a great relationship with my grandchildren. (I'm somewhat sad that I'll never get to walk a daughter down the aisle.)

13. Buy a new car just because I like it, even if it's completely impractical.

14. Have Colts Season Tickets with great seats and somebody to go with who's actually into it.

15. Go to lots of grandchildrens' sports events and concerts. Assuming I have grandchildren someday.

16. Save a life. Or have a major positive influence on one that is acknowledged by that person.

17. Die in my sleep the night after I've checked off the last item on the list. Having been pretty much healthy up to that moment.

There's more, but I'll never tell anyone about them, they are too personal.

Friday, January 28, 2005

Education Inspiration

I've never done two blog entries in the same day, but this has been rambling around in my head all week, and maybe I can move on easier if I write it down.

Between hearing about my own kids' views of high school and remembering my own experiences, our current education system at the high school level doesn't make much sense.

True when I was that age, and apparently even more true today is the fact that most kids pretty much are marking time their Junior and Senior years in high school. For me, those years were much more about having fun in my sports and music activities and making money on the side than the education I got between 8 and 3:30 every day.

Sure, I was serious enough about my education to want to get good grades and go to college. But I'd have to say that was well down the list from my sports, playing trombone in the Jazz Ensemble, and the various singing groups and youth trips and just hanging out with friends. Academically, my senior year in particular was of very little value, and I was mostly just marking time and having fun while trying to get a decent SAT score and apply to colleges.

If anybody's really serious about "fixing" education, they should first face reality. By the end of the 10th grade, probably 80 percent of kids have all the education they will need, at least to get entry into college. Juniors and seniors are either taking the AP and college-prep classes, some are marking time in Vo-Tech programs, but most are just taking the easiest classes they can find and getting into trouble.

I think it's really easy. Public schools should be reconfigured to end after the 10th grade. After finishing the 10th grade, students should then be free to choose from a myriad of options. Some form of the good old "vouchers" system would probably be the main source of funding, but imagine the possibilities:

Kids who are headed for the trades could go directly into apprentice programs or Vo-Tech schools. Some might go to work immediately for construction companies, HVAC companies, Plumbers, Electricians, etc.

Others who just want to go to work are free to do so. They can go ahead and get the factory job, fast food job, retail, whatever. But, until they turn, say 19, they can access their "voucher" benefits to finish their education in evening or weekend programs at local schools or community colleges.

College-bound kids can go to college prep schools, community colleges, or the actual colleges and universities, where they would start with the fundamental courses they need before entering the degree programs one or two years later. This could lead to specialized schools and programs that cater to students interested in engineering, math & sciences, medicine, music & arts, or general studies programs for those who aren't sure yet.

Bottom line, give the kids freedom after the 10th grade to start their lives by going directly into their chosen life and career path, rather than have them mark time for two more years in dinosaur high schools. That means they will enter an environment of their own choosing, and be able to pursue their career aspirations through education and training that is relevant to their chosen life path. That would allow kids of similar interests to study together in a safer, smaller environment that's actually productive for them.

If this had happened when I was in school, my main concern would have been losing out on the stuff I really enjoyed, sports and music. Of course, none of that has to go away. For those who are interested in participating, the schools they go to after the 10th grade can still sponsor similar programs, either within their curricula or as extra-curricula programs. It seems to me that this approach would provide much greater opportunity for these types of activities instead of less, as there will be more, smaller, and better schools in the community providing the education they really want. For example, instead of 1 or 2 high schools in the county with basketball, soccer, football, baseball, volleyball, etc., imagine there are 10 or 12 schools fielding teams. More kids get to participate, there's a lot more competition, and a lot more fun.

I know better than to think this idea has much of a prayer of catching the attention of enough people to make it a reality. There are way too many people who would fight this idea to the death even if it started to gain momentum, and too many politicians willing to pander to those entrenched interests.

It's still a good idea.

Living in the Twilight Zone

What a strange week. But in its own way, it's been sort of fun.

It started off with an eerie sort of vision or dream or intuition about Nick that I emailed him about, and his response seems to indicate I might have been right. Cool.

Then I go for the planning sessions at my new consulting engagement. A casino. Comp'd me on a very nice suite, which was a good start. Then the fun began.

We want you to build us a system for HR and Payroll, and it has to be live by March 15th. But you can only talk to our staff (in HR and Payroll) for 4 hours. And you can't see any employee information. And nobody knows yet what the benefit plans will be.
The good news is that we're giving you this test data. It's got all our favorite cartoon characters, from Mickey Mouse to Sponge Bob. It's just names and addresses, though - no information about the cartoon characters' positions or taxes or voluntary deductions or anything else, really. Except their Direct Deposit accounts....

It started out strange, and quickly progressed to ludicrous. I spent lots of time preparing my explanations about why this just wasn't going to work, and giving them precisely what data I will need to be successful. They're going to aggressively pursue permission to get the information I need - we'll see how that works.

Then I get home and hear a hilarious update from Tim about his girlfriend screening. He broke off his previous relationship because she worked so much that they really couldn't spend much time together. So now, the girls are lined up for his attention - it brings to mind an image of the 'American Idol' auditions. Cracks me up.

In true Tim fashion, he's taking his time to make a choice. I asked him why make one at all - why not just date all of the ones you find interesting? He says it doesn't work that way. Strange generational change, I suppose. He knows it doesn't really matter that much, since everybody's graduating and going their separate ways in a few months anyway.

So what is it about Tim that seems to attract girls like moths to the porchlight?

I'm not totally sure, but it could be his looks (reminiscent of Kirk Douglas), his body (football player/lifeguard buff), his caveman attitude (very masculine, very private about personal feelings), his personality (kind of quiet, but funny and a practical joker).

Or maybe it's just that he doesn't care whether he's got a girl on his arm or not. He's not needy or possessive. He can be rude and direct, and won't put up with feminine nonsense and manipulation. He seems the opposite of what the feminist world advertises about what women want, but maybe he is not what they say they want but what they really want.

It's interesting and amusing at the same time. I hope I get to meet the girl when he finally makes up his mind.

Monday, January 24, 2005

Spring Break Planning

I forgot about the fact that it's hard to redeem miles for travel over Spring Break if you wait until late January. I'll keep trying, because I'd rather fly to Sarasota than drive.

It was an interesting experiment, where I told everyone I was going to Florida for Spring Break, and they could choose to come along or stay home. Chris was the first definitive "Yes". Then Tim did his usual schtick, starting with "I'll go if Nick goes". When I told him Nick couldn't go because his spring break wasn't the same week, he changed to "I'll go if Mom and Chris don't go". So I told him that Chris was definitely going, and it became "I'll go if Mom doesn't go".

Funny, Mom told Tim she was going if he was, but she was staying home if he stayed home. So we've got a standoff. I'm not going to bother trying to talk anybody into anything. If Tim wants to go, it's with the family; if not, he gets to stay home with his mother. I think the strategy actually is working out pretty well; only those who want to go and have a good time will do so, and the rest can stay home.

Now I just have to find a flight that hasn't already handed out all of their FF seats.

Gotta stop messing around with the blog and get my work done so I can get to Chicago at a reasonable hour this evening.

Saturday, January 22, 2005

Short Weekends and Mixed Blessings

Taking a few unavailable minutes out to blog today might be just my way of analyzing where recent events are leading. The number one reason I left my company last spring to start this business was being burned out on constant traveling and missing out on the boys. Well, it looks like I'm going to be forced to get back on the road to get the income the family needs.

My hiatus did succeed as far as being able to spend much more time with Tim & Chris. I met the primary goal of making it to every one of Tim's football games this past fall, for which I am thankful. It was too late for Nick, although while he was still around I did spend lots of time with him on weekends, mostly taking him to soccer games and tournaments.

Building a business is difficult, particularly from the standpoint of getting known in the area and building a reference base. Basically I discovered it takes a huge amount of effort to earn a few bucks when you're just getting started. I don't have the budget to do the kind of advertising and hire help that would help ramp up the business faster, which was probably my main miscalculation. I still believe in the business, but just think it's going to take a lot longer than I expected to build.

So, the old company beckons with consulting opportunities. I went on a little 2-day engagement in Chicago in early December that I was able to expand to about a 30-day project. Even though it meant being out of town a lot and having to basically drop most of my selling activities to local prospects, it allowed me to make a lot more money with much less effort.

Now they've asked me to take on an even bigger project, also in Chicago, that's going to take me through Spring Break. It's great in terms of money, but very tough as far as keeping momentum on the rest of my business. I was for awhile kind of hoping John would join me in incorporating the business, which would have allowed us to double our efforts and infuse a little more capital for marketing activities. But John decided to go with a job that sounded pretty attractive, so that didn't work.

Now I'm seriously considering advertising for an IMC (commission salesperson) to work the internet business while I rent myself out to the old company to keep paying the bills. If I can find somebody who's got good sales and marketing savvy and is a motivated self-starter, it can help keep that side of the business building momentum.

Interestingly enough, I find that when I'm out of town consulting, it's much less stressful than when I'm home. Strangely, it's very relaxing for me to finish the day consulting and return to the hotel room, where I can kick back and relax without being bugged or hassled or nagged about anything. It's kind of escaping life, not having to deal with anything difficult as long as I show up at the client and do consulting work that I can do in my sleep after so many years.

Well, the money I can earn is important, especially considering there will be 2 kids in college very soon, we've got 3 ancient vehicles that are all on the verge of falling apart, there's lots of work that needs to be done on the house, and I'd like to be able to get Nick the car he's been wanting for so many years.

Yeah, I know, if Nick had just been willing to work summers and part-time over the past 3-4 years, he could have earned plenty to invest in a vehicle. But what he did earn in a series of jobs he hated went toward computer stuff and movies and restaurants. On the other hand, he gave up the promised graduation car for a full ride in return for enrolling at Rose-Hulman, which is very expensive. That's a sacrifice you'd have to respect.

Anyway, it'll be at minimum summer or fall before we start to feel the impact of all this, but at least I'm no longer as worried about running out of funds and we're still debt-free outside of the mortgage. Counting blessings is a great perspective adjustment.

Gotta go take the family to a movie. I wanted to go see Phantom of the Opera, but they want to see Racing Stripes. Maybe I can catch Phantom in Chicago next week.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Sports Drought

Well, the Colts went and blew it again in New England. Too bad, cause following your favorite team through the playoffs is a great release. It's not the end of the world that they lost, but it immediately drops my interest in divisional championship weekend by at least 50%.

My impression of the game wasn't quite the same as most of the sportswriters and commentators. Maybe it was my imagination, but from the Colts' very first 3-and-out, I thought they looked like they were really suffering in the cold. You could almost read the minds of the offensive players, "@#$% it's cold out here. Let's get this game over with and get out of here!".

Given the dropped passes, missed blocks, fumbles, etc., I'm thinking that's probably pretty close to the truth of the situation. Maybe Denver was partially right - the Colts receivers are soft, at least when it comes to playing outside in freezing temperatures and snow.

The defense played very well in the first half, but really let down in the second. Giving up the clock-crushing TD drive right at the beginning of the third quarter, then being unable to make the stops on 3rd-and-long was as much the story of the game as the offense's ineptitude. Early in the 4th, as I recall, the Colts "D" had the Pats in 3rd-and-long. They dropped into pass coverage, didn't get much of a pass rush, then let the back slip out and catch a short one in the flat without a Colt within 20 yards, running to the first down marker. The Pats drive went on to score while using so much of the 4th quarter clock that Peyton and the offense really had no chance.

Normally, this time of year I would just redirect my sports addiction to the Hoosiers basketball team. But they've been so disappointing it's kind of painful to watch them. I haven't been able to see them more than about 2 or 3 games so far, due to a variety of conflicts. But what I have seen is a talented group of players that don't seem to understand how to win.

The kids can be spectacular at times, and show some tremendous hustle play now and then. But they no longer play the traditional motion offense of Bob Knight. It looks more like an NBA offense, which is kind of like the power company. You know, when one guy does all the work and the rest of the guys stand around and watch him. That's my impression of the Indiana offense.

I've gotta believe that if you got that same team constantly moving, picking, and cutting, plus add a little more attitude and tough-mindedness, they'd be unstoppable. They may be a talented bunch, but they sure aren't talented enough to run one-on-one NBA-style offense and expect to win in the Big Ten.

Oh well, I've got so much work to do these days that I shouldn't spend much time and energy on the sports stuff. I will miss the release it gives me, though.

Saturday, January 15, 2005

Random Thoughts

Can't remember the last time I ended the day thinking, "Today was fun!" What will it take to get some fun back into life? Probably just a change in attitude. Now the trick is figuring out how to do that.

People probably think I'm some sort of rabid conservative/republican/right-winger, but I think there can be lots of common ground between my perspectives and those of somebody on the left wing. I find lots of the disagreements between people are based not on problems, but solutions. It's mostly the difference between the belief that government should solve problems and the belief that people should.

I think that:
  • Government should not treat anyone differently from anyone else. That goes for rich, poor, racial and ethnic majorities and minorities, huge corporations and tiny start-up businesses, etc. There are way too many examples of preferential treatment that should be ended, period.
  • Unions and Collective Bargaining are not inherently evil or bad for the country. If they're not corrupt and willing to negotiate in good faith, they can be very positive.
  • Globalization is hurting our standard of living. Gigantic trade deficits, offshoring and outsourcing, and illegal immigration are all acting to drive down wages. When billions of dollars go out of the country never to return, that's wealth we no longer control, and that's bad.
  • There's not really anything fundamentally wrong with basic worker protection laws setting minimum wage, overtime rules, safety standards, etc. I'd even support new laws like banning the "use it or lose it" vacation policies so popular today, tougher overtime regulations that insure people earning less than, say, $40-$50K get paid for overtime.
  • "Separation of Church and State" is not a constitutional principle, but was fabricated by the ACLU. We should get back to the original intent, which was that there cannot be a state-sponsored religion, people have complete freedom to worship as they please (within the law), and nobody can be coerced into joining any religious institution.
  • Abortion can't be outlawed until we all agree it's wrong. That takes education and efforts from everyone to offer alternatives, especially adoption and maternal care for unwed and unfit mothers. Sorry, I'll never agree with the whole "women's right to choose" argument.

Was thinking about our life journey. How the decisions I've made over the past 40-something years have put me on the path that's eventually led to where I am today. Different decisions in the past could have completely changed my career path, my wife, my children, my income, where I live, what I drive, even what I look like. Just think about a single decision - if I had simply chosen another college, almost everything I've experienced in my adult life would probably be completely different.

It just makes me realize what an important message I have to share with any young persons just getting started with their own life pathways. Decisions made about college choices, majors, girl/boy friends, and behavior can place us on a path that may or may not be the one we hoped for once we near it's end and look back. We've got to try to pick whatever path looks best for us, and avoid the one that looks easiest; the rocky and steep path may turn out to be the most rewarding in the end.

All this might not make any sense at all, but there it is.






Thursday, January 13, 2005

Greatness

I must be getting old, because this is a topic that's getting more and more play time in my head. The basic questions of what determines greatness, how do you measure a successful life, and what would be a satisfying epitaph?

So, who's greater?

  • Bill Gates (Mega-Rich CEO) or Mother Teresa (Saint)
  • Peyton Manning (NFL MVP) or Pat Tillman (KIA Afghanistan)
  • George W. Bush (Commander-in-Chief, USA) or Mahatma Ghandi (Indian Peace Activist)
  • Career Mom (3 kids, earns 6 or 7 figures, hired nanny) or Stay-at-Home Mom (3 kids, full-time mom & housekeeper, husband earns average wages)
  • Pat Robertson (televangelist, multi-million dollar worldwide evangelistic empire) or unknown local pastor with struggling congregation of a couple hundred people
  • Tort Lawyer, Car Salesman, Congressman, Insurance Salesman, CPA, etc.

It's probably too late for me to become a great achiever - definitely in sports, and most probably in business. On the other hand, I don't know if I ever aspired to such achievement. I'm not nearly as ambitious as I was early in my career; when I reached that goal of becoming an IS Director, I found out it wasn't at all what I imagined. It's more fun and less stress to be an individual contributor, and the long hours and constant pressure of the position of responsibility may not be worth the little extra in the paycheck.

Whatever one's profession, I think doesn't matter too much in the long run. What really matters is what impact you had on those you touched over your lifetime. Maybe we should all spend a little time thinking about the people who influenced our lives in a positive way during our lifetime, and then sending them a thank-you note.

No, a satisfying epitaph for me is "Dan, a good guy". I suppose I could live with that.

Anybody happening on this blog - tell me what you think the right epitaph would be for yourself, and what defines greatness in your mind?


Friday, January 07, 2005

Loretta Mae (Weyrick) Slabaugh 1936-2004

Known to all as "Lori", she was born near Cleveland, Ohio to Monroe and Catherine. Lori's father was one of 11 brothers from Elyria, and her mother emigrated with her family from Scotland.

Lori was the first child of Monroe and Catherine, although she had an older half-brother she never met. When Catherine was 13, she eloped. Her mother pursued the newlyweds and forced her daughter to return home, sending the boy away. She had the marriage anulled and gave the subsequent baby up for adoption. Catherine named the boy Frank, a name we can't be sure was kept by the adoptive parents. Where Frank may be today, or whether he still lives, remains a mystery.

Lori grew up on a small farm in Columbia Station, Ohio, and was a teen before her younger brother, James, was born. She was tall with dark brown hair, blue eyes, and fair skin that was easily covered in freckles. In Junior High school, she was walking between classes one day, when a baseball caught her full in the mouth as she rounded a corner. The result was a bridge for her upper front teeth that she wore for the rest of her life.

Ashland College was a small liberal-arts school that was not too far from her Columbia Station home, and she enrolled in their Home Economics program. It was at Ashland that she met Max, who happened to sit next to her in choir. They married while both were still in school, and moved into a cramped married student apartment on campus. Ten months later, Lori gave birth to her first child, Daniel, and dropped out of school. In the meantime, Max took a job loading boxcars on the third shift for a local manufacturing company while attending classes during the day.

Lori was a singer, with a pleasant alto voice, but she preferred singing in choirs or small groups over solo singing. She also proved an excellent actress, landing the lead in the Ashland College production of "A Man Named Peter", where she received great reviews and was recognized as the best actress of the year for the drama club. Telling the story about how she landed the part, she described being placed in the scene for her audition reading. To rattle the auditioners, the director had the prop telephone ring as each girl read her lines. She was somewhat flustered by the unexpected interruption, and her realistic response to the situation was just what they were looking for in the character.

After Max's graduation, they moved to nearby Ohio City, where Max had his first job as a high school teacher, basketball coach, and bus driver. Shortly after arriving in Ohio City, Lori gave birth to their second child, Julie. After only two years in Ohio City, a job opened up near Max's home town of Nappannee, Indiana, and they packed up their family to move to Goshen, Indiana.

In Goshen, they rented a home in a working-class neighborhood while Max worked as Principal, eighth-grade teacher, and basketball coach for an Amish school in the county. Shortly after settling into their new home in Goshen, Lori gave birth to child number three, Jill. The occasion of Dan's 5th birthday brought the family dog, a collie puppie christened "Sam".

Max supplemented his meager teacher's income with summer jobs at a local mobile home factory, later joining a local builder in constructing custom homes. Many summers, Max earned more in the three-month break than he received over the 9 month teaching contract. This allowed them to purchase a modest home in Goshen's growing west side on a spacious 1-acre lot. Max also landed a job with the Goshen schools, teaching 6th grade, for a more lucrative, if still meager, contract than the Amish school.

When she learned that a fourth child was on the way, Lori was distraught. Money was tight, Max was busy between teaching, coaching, and the constant part-time factory and construction jobs needed to keep the family afloat. Complicating the scenario was Max's need to complete a Master's degree, which was then required by the state for teachers to maintain their certifications. Max had to spend two summers in Bloomington to obtain the Master's in Education while Lori scraped by at home with their four young children.

Lori's father died unexpectedly of heart failure while being treated for back pain. He had been experiencing chronic back pain for most of the year, which may have been symptomatic of his cardiac problems which went unrecognized and untreated. Her mother, Catherine, sold their property (they had moved to the Chicago area), and moved in with Lori and Max, where she began helping to care for the children.

Max completed his degree, and friction grew between the similarly strong-willed Mother-in-Law and Son-in-Law, until the solution was reached that moved Catherine into a small rental home just down the street. Catherine worked full-time for a few years before retiring, but stayed close with the family until her passing.

While the children were young, Lori kept busy with parenting, keeping up with a large half-acre garden, canning fruits and vegetables, and enduring the menagerie of a dog (Sam), cat (Cat), Dan's rabbits (up to over 100 at one point), and even Chickens. The variety of pets and other animals created many funny stories and great childhood experiences. The neighborhood had many other children close in age to the family, and her home became the popular gathering place for kids from the neighborhood and later schools and church.

Lori was the ultimate mother, able to keep her children (relatively) well-behaved completely without the threat or use of corporal punishment. Her approach was always gentle and loving, and if she ever said anything she later came to regret, nobody in the family remembers it. For example, if two siblings were fighting, her method was never to take sides, but to order the two to go somewhere private and resolve their differences. The private place of choice was often a bedroom closet, where the two feuding siblings would sit across from each other and eventually burst out laughing, the dispute quickly forgotten.

If the day had been particularly trying or the children rambunctious, Lori would bring out the "quiet candles". This signaled to everyone in the family (including Dad) that Mom has had a rough day, and just wants a quiet evening meal. I remain amazed to this day how well that worked, and some special memories are of those quiet dinners lit only by a couple of candles.

There was always music in the house, and singing was a normal part of everyday life because of Lori. It was even used as a teaching tool, and I still remember the little jingle she made up to teach us our telephone number. When the children reached the teen years, the house was often full of young people on a Sunday afternoon, with 3 or 4 guitarists leading everyone singing (mostly) songs of faith, playing games like "rhythm", and generally having a great time. The family also teamed up with Max's sister Mary's family to do a number of performances for churches and nursing homes.

Lori and Max were sure to keep the family involved in the church, and faith was the most consistent and important aspect of family life. The entire family stayed active with church activities, and all six family members participated in the church choir. The kids also were active in and served in leadership positions for the church youth program; David was elected the National Youth Moderator for the Brethren denomination as a high school senior.

When David entered school, Lori began working full-time. She had previously tried some part-time and temporary jobs, such as substitute teaching, but it was too difficult to be away from her four young children until all were of school age. Eventually, Lori was able to take full-time employment, and worked in primarily clerical positions throughout her working life. Lori never sought a "career", but simply viewed her jobs as means to provide more income to the household. She never allowed any job to interfere with important family events and needs; when Jill gave birth to a grandchild, Lori asked for some time off to help with the new baby. Her employer initially told her they would not authorize the time off. Lori told them she was sorry, but if they would not approve the time off, she would be forced to resign. The employer gave in, and Lori was there to help Jill care for her newborn.

Lori was known as an indispensible member of her department at Goshen Rubber, the company where she was employed the longest. However, even knowing her value to the company, the managers never acknowledged her with any substantial rewards, promotions, or recognition. She finally chose to retire when her supervisor, the department manager, retired himself and recommended her for his position. The company considered offering her the job, schemed to have her take the duties without an increase in pay, then finally gave it to another, less qualified candidate. Although the corporate shenanigans upset her somewhat for a brief time, she never dwelt on injustice, never complained, and just moved on.

After retirement, she worked part-time as the church secretary, but mostly just enjoyed spending time with her grandchildren as much as possible.

Lori was known by everyone as sweet, kind, and generous. She was always focused on others; anyone coming to visit could expect their favorite meal, prepared by the best home cook on the planet. She always showed care and concern for everyone, whether they were experiencing problems or tragedy in life or just needed a warm coat in the wintertime.

Lori lost her youngest son, David, who was killed by a drunk driver on the way home from work. David was 26. It happened on the day that Lori and Max were waiting for him to arrive at David's home to celebrate Max's birthday. David's passing devastated both parents, but Lori never dwelt on self-pity. Everyone was amazed, not only at her strength at such a tragic time, but at how she was encouraging and helping everyone else. Friends and relatives, coming to offer their condolences, would break down and find themselves being consoled by Lori, the very person they were hoping to comfort. She even reached out to the family of the drunk driver, sending a card with a consoling note expressing her sympathies, as he was also killed in the accident. That family was reportedly puzzled and unable to respond to such an unexpected gesture of sympathy and forgiveness from the victim's mother.

She passed away in June from complications of a variety of ailments that assaulted her recently. She had endured about 30 years of diabetes, which was taking a toll on her eyesight and circulation, especially in her legs, where she had serious wound problems and pain that limited her mobility. Two strokes, Uterine cancer, and a pelvic fracture all contributed to the weakness and pain from which she was unable to recover, finally succumbing in June when her kidneys failed.

People who never knew Lori might think she was just an ordinary woman. All of us who knew her would have to strongly disagree. What did she accomplish? Here are just a few examples:

All four children completed 4-year degrees, three at Ashland. One went on for an MBA.

Raised in strong Christian faith, all of her children remain active in the church, including musically, of course. Both daughters are pastors' wives in the Brethren denomination, the same in which she raised her family.

David's wife remarried a Brethren pastor. Max has been a part-time pastor as well since his retirement from teaching.

She leaves behind a husband, 3 children, and 11 grand-children who will always remember the positive influence she had on their lives.

She leaves behind countless people she affected, from school, church, and the workplace, who all learned about love, compassion, and unselfishness from her gentle nature.

In these days of feminist values of selfishness and greed, we need far more examples like Lori to remind us of what is really important in life.

Goodbye Mom. It's taken me this long just to be able to accept your passing. My only hope and prayer is that I can be just half the person you were. I'm sorry I wasn't able to be with you more, especially in your last year. I wish I would have made sure my boys spent more time with you as they were growing - there's so much more they would have learned from you.

Rest in peace, Mom.