So You Think Travel is Cool

The trip began yesterday morning. I got up at 5:30 and was on the road to the Indy airport by 6. It was a foggy morning, and visibility was a little dicey until the sun came up, but otherwise I had a pretty normal drive to the airport.

I arrived, parked in the Tiger lot, and jaywalked across the road to the terminal because I don't like riding the bus. The check-in went smoothly, where I handed over my bag oblivious to what was in store. Then I got through security without being strip-searched, and settled in with a good book until we boarded the flight to Minneapolis.

Even on boarding there was no hint of the problems to come. I received my upgrade and enjoyed a cold orange juice while the rest of the passengers came on board. We pushed away from the gate, but shortly afterward found ourselves parked on the tarmac.

The message from the pilot boiled down to this: Minneapolis was getting stormy weather, and was slowing down incoming traffic for safety reasons. We would have to wait on the ground in Indy until we got cleared to take off for MSP. That's not a terribly unusual event, and I was unconcerned, so I put the book down and began to nap.

Eventually we took off for MSP, but I really didn't know how long we had waited, because I'd been sleeping. I continued to doze through the flight, waking up when we were about 20 minutes away. I re-immersed myself in the book (which was one of the best I've read in some time, by the way - if you have a chance to read "The Rule of Four", do so!) and didn't check my watch until we landed and began the taxi to the gate.

Oh-oh. We were pulling into the gate at 11:00, and my flight to Hancock was scheduled to depart at 11:10. Knowing that the trek from concourse G to A was about as far a walk as you can possibly do at Minneapolis, I thought there was no way I would make that flight.

Nothing to do but try, though, so I took off at a speed walk (fast for me, anyway), and actually walked up to my gate at A3 by about 11:15. The flight was gone. The gate agent told me I could either wait about 10-15 minutes to get assistance from her when she finished closing out the flight (yes, the one I was supposed to be on), or I could call the 800 number to rebook.

So I tried Northwest's 800 number, figuring with my elite status they would take good care of me. But it wasn't very reassuring when the guy on the phone came back from researching my options to say, in what I interpreted as a rather embarrassed tone, that I would be better off to see an agent there at the counter.

So of course, I go back to my (un)friendly gate agent, now one of about a half-dozen people who missed the same flight. Given that the plane only holds about 20 people, I immediately began to wonder out loud why they couldn't hold it 20 minutes to get the rest of us on who came in on delayed flights. Not a good way to make friends with an already sullen gate agent.

Anyway, we all get the following news from our sullen and increasingly hostile and unfriendly gate agent: There are no seats on any flight to Hancock (MI) before Friday night. I thought I detected a note of triumph in her voice when she made that statement. "Take that, you idiot passengers!"

So I asked, as nicely as I could and trying to disguise the smoke that was most certainly pouring out of my ears, whether there was a flight available that could get us to Marquette (because I already knew that was the nearest airport other than Hancock to where I was going). And thanking God for small favors, a second gate agent appears to help the first, who is much more pleasant and actually smiles at me when she says "Let me check on that!"

So my new best friend is able to quickly find me a seat on the flight to Marquette. She also entered data into her computer about re-routing my luggage. All I needed to do was call Avis to switch my car rental reservation, then see if I could get the return flight changed to Marquette as well to avoid a drop charge on the car. True to form, the other agent heard me ask to change the return flight, and responded "you will have to do that online or through the 800 number. And they will charge you a $100 change fee".

I couldn't help myself: "You mean I'll get charged a change fee for a change that wasn't my fault?". She snorted, "It wasn't our fault either; complain to God."

Unbelievable.

Anyway, I had about 5 hours to kill in the MSP airport before the Marquette flight. It only took one of those hours to finish off the book (let me know if you want to borrow it!), so I took a walk to find a bookstore to buy another. Without reading materials, 5 hours stuck in an airport could be torturous.

The flight to Marquette loaded up after they asked for 3 volunteers to give up their seats. Fortunately, 3 giggling college girls immediately took the airline up on the deal.

As we taxied toward the runway, the pilot came on the air to announce that the weather in the area was pretty rough, and there was a chance we would not be able to land in Marquette. Our alternative airport was Stevens Point, Wisconsin. Oh great, I thought, getting stranded in Wisconsin is worse than being stranded in Minneapolis.

Fortunately, we made it to Marquette. It was after a roundabout flight that took almost twice as long as scheduled, as the pilot flew around the storms. Even so, it was a pretty bumpy ride.

We got to Marquette, and I checked in at Avis to get my rental car keys. A Hyundai Santa Fe. Oh well, it's transportation. Then I waited for the bags. And waited. And waited. Strange how tiny airports are sometimes the slowest to unload luggage.

Once the carousel stopped moving, I headed over to the Northwest ticket counter to report my lost luggage. How did I know that my friend at the gate in MSP wasn't going to be successful at re-routing my bag just by entering it in the computer? Does it maybe have something to do with the fact that the gorillas who handle baggage couldn't use a computer if their life depended on it? Or that entering baggage information on the computer system is only for show, to mislead customers into thinking there actually is some sort of system for tracking luggage? I knew better, but what can you do?

So even though I was tired from an extremely long and frustrating day of absolutely no productivity, I stopped at Wal-Mart in Marquette to buy some essentials. Bathroom stuff, socks, underwear, a pair of slacks and a shirt. I figured the jeans and ratty golf shirt wouldn't go over too well at the client the next morning. At least I got checked into the hotel before midnight. I believe I got in around 9:30. How's that for a trip - 15 and a half hours to travel to an adjoining state!

I just got off the phone with the agent at the Hancock airport. She confirmed for me that my bag had indeed shown up there today, on the first flight from MSP. She is calling a taxi to bring it to me at my hotel. Let's hope it shows up tonight - I'd rather not have to wear the same outfit to work tomorrow.

So, after this long story, would anybody like to sign up for job that requires extensive travel? Anybody?

Thought so.