Sharing a Major Pet Peeve

A major irritant for me may not be shared by a lot of other people. Then again, maybe it is, and I just don't hear it much from others. It's women doing bathroom stuff in public (no, not the waste function).

Some already know of my sensitivity to strong odors. Perfumes, hand cremes, hairspray, cologne, and other similar stinky stuff make me physically ill. The worst recent experience was on a flight; I was sitting in first class as the plane descended to land at the Indy airport, when the woman next to me pulled out her perfume bottle and proceeded to douse herself liberally. A few seconds later, I emptied the contents of my stomach into the airsick bag. It wasn't until I walked outside and gulped greedily at the fresh air that the nausea began to dissipate.

What's so difficult for women to understand - some of us don't appreciate their favorite scents. Especially when they bathe in them. Have they been dousing so much of the stuff on themselves that it completely burned out their olfactories? The same women probably don't appreciate cigarette smoke being blown in their faces, so why wouldn't they understand that applying strong and offensive odors to their own bodies can be just as objectionable to someone sitting near them?

During my last project, there were two women who made things difficult. One I had to work with fairly closely, and it was made very difficult by the hand creme she slathered on several times each day. The routine went something like this: We'd be working on something, and she'd pull out the bottle of creme and dump a big gob on her palm. Then I'd excuse myself, get up and leave the area, spend about 10-15 minutes out in the unpolluted air, then return, hoping the worst of the odor had dissipated. Once I wasn't quick enough or didn't notice what she was doing, and began dry-heaving as I quickly turned my back and headed for the restroom. She either never caught on to my subtle hints or didn't care to catch on.

There was another woman who worked in an adjoining cubicle to the one I was assigned for awhile. She had some sort of fruity body spray product that she would apply at random times throughout the day. The odor conjured up the purple cloud I used to remember from cartoons, which as soon as it comes in contact renders the victim unconscious. Well, for me not unconscious but very nauseous. So, once again, I would get up and leave as soon as the malodorous toxic cloud reached my nostrils, returning after I figured enough time had passed for it to dissipate.

On my trip home this weekend, fortunately this didn't happen close enough to me to cause any ill effects, but it did irritate me. A woman was sitting in the gate area awaiting boarding for the Indy flight. She got out her bag, and right there in front of all the other waiting passengers, proceeded to paint her face. She applied all sorts of products, none of which I really care to understand well enough to describe, apparently in an attempt to transform her face into whatever illusion she desired.

So maybe it's some sort of social requirement for women to wear lots of makeup. But my general philosophy is that pretty women don't need it, and ugly women can't get much help anyway. But even if I grudgingly agree that women feel social pressure to plaster stuff on their faces, shouldn't they do it in private? Why couldn't this woman get up and walk the 50 feet to the nearest ladies room to trowel on all that stuff, rather than subject everyone in the area to her attempt at facial artistry?

After all, if women and their makeup are all about illusion, shouldn't the secrets of that illusion be kept private?

I feel better now with my rant over. I'm also breathing deeply to appreciate the complete lack of obnoxious odors in my private refuge of the office. (Let me check - no, even my armpits are fairly odor-free. I won't take off my shoes, though.) Ahh.