Difficult Decisions

Every now and then something comes along that is tempting.

There are many times when I think it would be very nice to just leave the business and take one of those tempting opportunities, thinking about all the positives: Actual benefits, nice salary, great fit with my skills and experience, stability and predictability, working in the office with people every day, and a place I could probably stay until I'm ready to retire.

But the downsides give me pause as well. The business isn't doing all that badly, and even though I'm not making what I will by taking a job, it's going up fairly steadily. I like Columbus, but admit that I don't like the house and can't afford the remodeling to make it acceptable right now. Plus we've been here 11, going on 12 years, and the roots have gone pretty deep, at least for Claudia.

On the other hand, I've never really found true friends here, at least that fit my definition of friends. The nature of my work and business, living on a farm out nowhere, concentrating more on the kids and their activities, and not really feeling connected with Claudia's homeschool network are all reasons. Plus that it's probably my own fault for not really putting much effort into developing friendships; besides being naturally reserved, I'm also wary and slow to trust others, cynically believing everyone has ulterior motives.

Maybe it wasn't a good idea, but I gave my OK for an interview today. Even though I know Claudia's not going to like the idea of moving. Even though I'm not sure I like the idea either. But this one's pretty attractive, and I might be kicking myself later if I don't at least check it out a little.

Then again, it may go nowhere and I'm overthinking it anyway. We'll see.