Saving Marriage

Given the controversy over gay marriage, I was thinking it was time to take the steps long overdue to help save the whole institution. Unfortunately, it seems to me that too many people get married sort of like teenagers "go steady". It's viewed as a commitment for the moment, but the whole lifetime aspect is not taken very seriously.

How can we fix this?

1. Reform divorce laws: No-fault divorces - what an incredibly stupid idea. Somebody's always at fault, and often there's an innocent spouse that gets destroyed in the process. Here's what should happen:

a. If one partner is dumping the other in favor of a new partner, they're free to leave with nothing. OK, they can take whatever they may have brought into the marriage and their personal effects, but that's it. The other spouse has no responsibility for spousal support and gets to keep the major marital assets.

b. Child custody decisions should favor the innocent party as well, regardless of whether that's the father or mother, as long as that party is capable of caring for the child(ren).

c. Make "irreconcilable differences" a very difficult process for divorce. Require spouses who wish to divorce on this vague reason enroll in mandatory counseling and agree to make every effort to reconcile, with a 1-year waiting period before the divorce is finally granted.

d. Physical abuse might be subject to the same consequences as (a.) above, but must be proven rather than just alleged by a vindictive spouse. Of course, physical abuse must dictate that the non-abusive partner gain custody of children.

e. Eliminate "emotional abuse". This would need an extremely heavy burden of proof, since any unhappy spouse would be likely to try using this argument.

2. Add premarital counseling to the requirement for obtaining a marriage license in every state. This could be tough to do, especially in Nevada where quickie weddings are a profitable industry, but is certain to make a great contribution to stronger marriages.

The counseling that is already taking place in churches could be supplemented by community or even commercial counseling programs, which will help prepare couples for marriage or possibly help them discover incompatibility before it's too late.

My summary point is that we need to get back to the traditional definition of marriage and teach people to understand and live that relationship. Then maybe it will become clearer to those who support the hijacking of the sacrament of marriage by homosexuals what the real definition has always been.