Ch-Ch-Changes

It's making me feel old, looking at the trends and attitudes of the next generation.

This summer, after several weeks working mostly fulltime with a single client, I began to notice just how radically things have changed. I worked with lots of folks at this client and began to get to know them on a personal level.

One day it dawned on me that a distinct minority of the folks on our project team were part of a traditional nuclear family. Nearly all of the women fell into one of two categories; they were either single parents, or they were living with a man who is not their husband. Most of them have children, and may or may not have had the children with a husband.

The realization hit me sort of hard, and made me sad. These people don't have the security of a promised lifelong relationship. Most of them have to know that their boy or girlfriend might pack up and move out at a moment's notice without consequence, yet they continue to tolerate the uncommitted relationship. I wonder why?

One of the women is raising her boyfriend's kids. She's like an unpaid nanny and housekeeper and provider of certain other services for her boyfriend. Why would she tolerate such a situation?

Another woman has been living with the same guy for almost a decade. She said they talk about getting married, but just never got around to it. They're a married couple in all other respects, including owning a home together. They also have no children, nor any plans in that respect. She acknowledged getting some grief from her parents about the situation, but doesn't let that concern her.

In our own family, the next generation is very different from ours. By the time our generation was the age our children have reached today, most of us were long married and already had multiple children. Our next generation has very few married 20-somethings, and even fewer children. They're all focused on establishing themselves in a career and/or holding out for Mr./Ms. Right.

What's happened to us? The marital promises no longer hold meaning for our next generation. Sexual mores have been completely abandoned. Children are not valued or sought after. God holds little interest for them.

I don't think it's just me being a narrow-minded old guy when I so firmly believe that we've raised a generation that's purposely missing out on what life is about. I wish I could find a way to fix it, but how do you convince an entier generation to consider a change in attitude?