Destiny

There's a strange feeling nagging at me today that something momentus is about to happen. I can't identify what or when or even if it's a good or bad thing.

Then again, these days I don't really think about events so much in terms of good and bad. Sure, I have days that are better than others. I don't especially care for things that cause me physical or emotional pain. I can get irritated by stupid and unreasonable people.

But I've never really been one to get terribly worked up worrying about things. I never felt like I feared my own death, but I did fear intense pain and suffering. I have feared disability. But these no longer elicit fear for me. Not that I'd welcome them, but neither do I worry much about them.

Maybe its the age I'm reaching, but I've come to realize that I am the culmination of my life experiences. The pleasant experiences leave nice memories I can recall to cheer me up. The unpleasant experiences, in most cases, led to something better. Or they made me more resilient, perhaps a bit less fearful.

I've been taught from an early age in Sunday School that God doesn't give any of us more than we can bear. Now the way I think of that old idea is that we don't have much choice in the matter - whatever happens, we must accept and find a way to deal with or overcome.

Even though I'm disheartened at the state of today's world and the corrupt people who run it, I no longer fear the collapse I think is imminent. Sort of like Sodom and Gomorrah, perhaps the only way to cleanse the world of its corruption is some major catastrophe. Not that I wish for it, but it seems somehow natural and inevitable.

So whether my strange feeling involves a momentus success or catastrophe in my personal life, my community, nation, or the world, I can accept it. Whatever occurs, assuming I survive, I will simply re-evaluate the situation and make the best choice I can to move forward.

Is that destiny? Is the course of life preordained, or do we choose our own? Is there a destiny out there for each of us, but only a select few have the courage to find it?

I can't say. But whatever is coming, let it come.