On Ambition

Had a discussion with someone this week about the trade-offs ambition requires. We agreed that there's a real conflict between keeping the relatively stress-free 9 to 5 job and striving for the better job that brings great stress along with the higher pay and prestige.

I've been warned by my own father many times about getting so wrapped up in career and monetary success that everything else gets left behind. I think he's right.

Just as in the other conversation, the person I was talking with stated the dilemma very clearly. The better job is stimulating and challenging and pays more, which are all good things. But the job also can be all-consuming. You're at work all the time, and when you're home, you still are working, or at least thinking about work. You miss family events. Errands don't get run, little broken things around the house don't get fixed, you lose touch with your spouse and kids.

Sometimes you want to go back to that old job, where you simply showed up and did your work. It was easy, relatively stress-free, and very boring. Back then you knew you had so much more to contribute. You were pretty sure you could do your boss's job better. You sometimes envied the higer-ups for their bigger houses and nicer cars.

Now you've got the better job and the responsibilities and the prestige. Sure, the money's better, but somehow it hasn't made you happier. You find that even though you bend over backward to be fair and respectful to your subordinates, they don't appreciate it. In fact, some of them are always undermining or disrespecting your leadership. There's no way to get all of the work done.

You work extra hours at the office and take work home, but it seems you continue to fall farther behind. Your superiors don't seem to notice how hard you've been working, but keep the pressure on by asking you to do even more. They also hold you accountable when one of your staff makes a mess of things.

In the meantime, things aren't so great at home. Your spouse is giving you grief about "always" working and never being there for the family. You miss the soccer or football games, music performances, plays, or spelling bees your kids are in more and more often. You're mostly not home for dinner these days.

What will you do? You can't quit; your income is badly needed to support the lifestyle your family enjoys. You can't spend less time at work; you're already in trouble with your boss for problems in your department.

So you resolve to just try to become more efficient, and do a better job budgeting your time to get more quality time at home. Only that never seems to quite work out.

Ambition. Do you still have it?