Disappointment

How often are you disappointed by other people?

Never, seldom, sometimes, often, almost always, always?

Lately I'm finding myself in the "often" to "almost always" range. People consistently disappoint me. The question I've begun to ask myself is whether that is because of them, or is it because of me?

It is disturbing to find myself in this mindset. Because I know about the miserable people in the "always" category. Nobody measures up to the standards set by the "always" person. In fact, nobody could ever measure up, because the standards are impossible to understand, let alone meet. I don't want to be an "always".

How do they disappoint me? By failing to follow through on promises. By being unscrupulous in their dealings with others, whether or not with me. By taking advantage of my generosity, then giving me the impression they turned me into a chump. By showing themselves to be less honorable than I thought. By shallowness, arrogance, duplicitousness, self-centeredness. With vulgarity, immorality. With ignorance.

Some may tell me it's my problem. I'm not accepting enough. I haven't learned to be "tolerant" and "embrace diversity". I'm too judgemental. Maybe I have unrealistically high expectations of others.

On the other hand, maybe the time has come to find new friends. Friends who can prove to me that they can be trustworthy, moral, and ethical.

There's the dilemma. I'm back on the road. I'm home 2 days a week, sometimes less. I don't just feel isolated, I am isolated.

Maybe I just need to relax and try harder to find my own joy. Life is indeed short.