Consulting Kookiness

Got a rather funny email today originating from the software company I do a lot of my contract consulting for these days. New rule: If you pay for a meal with a credit card, the receipt can't be the credit card receipt. It has to be one that shows what you actually ordered.

What's funny about that is the idea that somebody out there searches through every receipt from every consultant expense invoice, looking for something to question. It's an old practice that is really kind of ridiculous, where somebody actually gets paid (or maybe gets some odd kick) to look at every single receipt.

It's not because they are being thorough, although it is partially to keep consultants honest. The real reason, as I discovered back in my consulting management days, is to delay payment as long as humanly possible.

Here's how it works:

Consulting delivered, expense report processed, invoice sent to customer. Customer demands copies of all receipts in order to approve any expenses for payment.

Photocopies of receipts sometimes don't come out very clearly. So they reject the entire expense invoice until the company provides a legible receipt.

Receipts sometimes are handwritten. Rejected for illegibility.

The receipt doesn't match the invoice. For example, the consultant forgot to include the tip when charging a meal. Rejected for unmatched amount. (even though it's in the customer's favor)

So imagine what the game is now, with this new demand to see the actual meal. Let me guess: An alcoholic beverage with dinner - rejected. Meal included steak, or heaven forbid, veal - rejected by the vegan chick who reviews the receipts! Ordered dessert - rejected. The tip for the waitress was more than 10% - rejected!

You see, there's already a sort of daily meal maximum. Most reasonable customers don't mind if you exceed it now and then - say you're in town for the whole week and you want to have dinner at a decent restaurant one night. Generally no sweat. You only spent $20 to $30 bucks a day, and on one day it went up to $50. No biggie.

Except for the type of customer that makes these sorts of demands. They will hold up payment on every invoice you sent them over the last 6 months because they are questioning a $2 discrepancy on a single expense report. You think I'm exaggerating? Nope, I've actually seen it happen. Again, not because they're worried about getting ripped off by shady consultants padding their expenses. The real truth is they just use it as an excuse to keep from paying their bill.

Personally, if I had a contract opportunity with a company I knew played such games, I wouldn't take it. Or I'd demand a rate high enough to compensate for the hassle, not to mention make up for the slow-paying customer.