The Light at the end of the Tunnel

Today was the nicest day I've had in a very long time. Sometimes I don't realize how badly things have been going until they get better and I look back. Well, this is a day where, almost miraculously, things turned the corner, the light appeared at the end of the tunnel, or choose your own cliched analogy.

After an Autumn of hope but some stress over the slow business progress, the winter came. The stress of uncertainty over the success or failure of the business intensified, I began accepting out-of-town consulting assignments from my former employer, and my family were at each other's throats like never before.

High stress was due to constant bickering at home, the eldest off at college making it clear he had no desire to return home, even for a visit, the "great flood" from the upstairs bathroom, our inability to get Health Insurance at any price, the sullen, angry, and absolute rebelliousness of son #2, and my absolute inability to do anything about any of it.

But today was different. Everyone was in good spirits, nobody fought, and we were even able to have a little bit of fun this weekend as a family.

Why? The change in the weather was certainly a factor. After a dismal and dreary winter and spring, we finally got a day that was sunny, warm, and pleasant. But that can't be the only reason. We also were attending Masses to commemorate John Paul II, which seems to have effected everyone in some way. But that effect isn't easy to define, other than the signs from the rest of the family that show their respect and concern.

For my part, I got the call Saturday afternoon asking me to sing for the Saturday evening Mass at St. B's, which they wanted to make special in remembrance of the Pope. Initially, I just was mildly honored to be asked, but there was a very special atmosphere in that Mass that didn't really come from the presider, the musicians, or the congregation. In fact, there wasn't that much said about John Paul II at the Mass, but nonetheless the hushed and prayerful attitude of the very large turnout told its own story of the significance of the day.

Our a capella rendition of Ave Verum Corpus turned out to be a very good choice, I think. It was surpising to each of us that we were able to put the quintet together so quickly and pull off the moderately challenging piece as if we'd been rehearsing for weeks. Knowing it sounds kooky to most people, I have to feel like we had a little divine assistance with that performance.

As the end of that Mass approached, we were singing an hymn, and I suddenly found myself getting choked up. Even telling myself that there was no reason to be emotional, I still felt deeply in a way very similar to the emotions present at my brother's and mother's funerals.

Interesting that I didn't start out this blog with the intent of writing a tribute to the Pope, but somehow that's how it turned out. My conclusion is that I'm thankful for whatever helped restore harmony to my family, and I'm thankful for the opportunity to have Karol Wojtyla as probably the greatest Pope of the modern era.

Now I hope the family harmony continues.

Who Wants to Live Like That?

"I wouldn't want to live like that".

The most common comment I hear from people who seem to support the tragic court orders withholding hydration and nutrition (food & water) from Terri Schiavo.

Is it really true what the media is reporting, that 70% of Americans think the government should butt out and let Terri die in peace? Is it really true that 70% of Americans think it's OK to starve someone to death if they are living a life most of us would find of low quality?

I've heard outrageous rhetoric from both sides of the issue. One side suggests the original cause of Terri's condition was brought on directly through abuse by her husband, and there are all sorts of evil motives behind his fight to keep her parents away and starve her to death. On the other side are claims that Terri feels no pain, is somehow happy to be in her final hours, and that a feeding tube represents some sort of artificial life support.

As I always try to do in every issue, I've bypassed all the hype and spin to get to the basic facts of the case. Only by thinking about what we know for sure can we make a reasoned decision about how we feel about whether we're killing Terri by starving her to death or merely letting her die by removing medical treatment.

The facts: Terri is profoundly brain-damaged, but does not require any special medical treatment to keep her alive. There are conflicting stories about whether she receives nutrition via feeding tube because she's incapable of ingesting food and water, or whether the feeding tube is merely for convenience of her caregivers, as feeding her normally would be similar to feeding an infant.

Also being argued is whether or how much Terri is able to feel, interact, understand, etc. There seem to be plenty of opinions ranging from those who say she is awake, aware, and even responds to others by smiling and grunting, to those who try to suggest she is "brain dead". Where is the line exactly drawn where anyone could be declared "brain dead"? I certainly don't know, but more importantly, who gets to decide?

So, the courts have ruled that Terri must die. The interpretation of the law as I understand it is that her husband, as her legal guardian, has the right to make that decision on her behalf. Her death is to occur by the simple removal of food and water until she dies of dehydration and/or malnutrition.

Is this where our society has arrived? Are we now prepared to starve people to death based on our own feelings about whether their quality of life matches our own standards? How does this case effect what might happen to our grandparents, our parents, ourselves?

The description of Terri's functional level I recently heard was that of about a 10-month-old infant. That certainly doesn't sound "brain dead" to me. How many Alzheimers patients are in nursing homes everywhere who could also be described as functioning at the level of a 10-month-old infant? Is their quality of life any better or worse? Should we starve them to death as well?

How many family members, whether spouses or children, might be tempted to use the Terri Schiavo precedent to kill their disabled loved one? How easy could it be to simply go tell the judge that "Dad told me not to let him live like that, so I am requesting that we remove his nutritional treatments so he can die in peace". After all, if Dad doesn't die soon, the nursing home is going to get all of his estate and his living children won't get their inheritance. Is that OK with everyone?

Thinking about Christopher Reeve. He really shouldn't have survived his accident, then nobody expected him to live nearly as long as he did. Without the unbelievably expensive yet innovative medical care, along with his own very strong desire to live, he proved that life finds a way. Wouldn't most people in his condition also say, "I wouldn't want to live like that"? Should Christopher Reeve been allowed to die by removing his respirator?

Where does it end? Should we just euthanize cancer patients, people with disabilities, Down's Syndrome, amputees, paraplegics, quadriplegics, schizophrenics, obsessive-compulsives, depressed people? What is "quality of life"? Who has it and who doesn't? Most of all, who gets to decide?

I think we've crossed a line that we may never again be able to re-cross. And I'm very frightened and depressed.

WAIT! I didn't mean I don't want to live like this. Please don't kill me!

Spring Break

Here it is, my Spring Break Post! I'm looking forward to some warm weather, relaxation, and time with extended family.

So as promised, to follow up on my pet peeves, I'll turn to the positive side and post my favorite things. These are the best things I've experienced in my life, many of which will never happen again. I know a lot of this dates me, but so what. Maybe new, enen better things will happen in the future. But some memories are so good I'm sad that they'll always just remain memories while being happy they happened in the first place.

Favorite Things/Memories:

• shooting baskets
• snorkeling in Hawaii
• Singing in front of a huge crowd of Russians who were loving it
• The whole performing tour of Russia, Latvia, and Poland
• Dress Rehearsals for Musicals & Operas at College
• 2AM Breakfasts with friends at Sambo's (Think Denny's in 1977)
• Disco in the 70's (go ahead and make fun, it was a blast)
• Seeing almost the entire US and a big chunk of Canada
• Taking young sons to minor league baseball games in S. Carolina
• Finding "the zone" and going off for 26 points in HS JV basketball game
• Beating Frat boy teams in basketball with the "Concert Choir" team
• Watching Larry Bird & the Celtics in his prime, almost courtside during playoffs against Atlanta
• Playing with the Trombone Choir
• Traveling all over the place performing with University Singers
• Signing autographs
• Seeing Texas Rangers vs. NY Yankees at brand new stadium, 3 rows above the Yankees dugout
• Driving through the countryside with my favorite tunes on the radio and a sweet girl tucked under my arm
• Tobogganing in Michigan with all my friends
• Trip to Cedar Point Amusement Park after all-night party with friends
• Meeting and talking with Red Skelton before a show
• Hanging out with Atlanta Rhythm Section band after a concert
• Singing a song that touches the audience - seeing emotions and tears out there as I sing
• Nailing a performance and feeling the audience's reaction
• Family Florida trips
• Pancaking DB's in football
• Dancing (sorry, you'll never see me do that again!)
• Dancing at the Disco in Poznan, Poland
• Touring Buenos Aires, staying at the Intercontinental
• Sledding with a gang of friends
• Singing "O Canada" and "The Star-Spangled Banner" under a spotlight at center ice for the Komets hockey team
• Late-night recording sessions
• Sitting around a living room with lots of friends singing and playing games
• Going to NCAA basketball tournament
• Colts games
• Soccer tournaments with Nick
• Getting to every football game this past Fall and watching Tim's team get to Final 4
• Ball State Men's volleyball vs. Ohio State in '77
• Singing for weddings
• Meeting Red Skelton, Bob Hope, Don Shula, McKenzie Phillips, Wierd Al Yankovic, England Dan & John Ford Coley, Harry Chapin, Donnie & Marie Osmond, Maureen McGovern, Mario Andretti, Robert Ballard, Kenny Rogers, Crystal Gayle, Daryl Hall & John Oates, David Lee Roth, Eddie Van Halen, Merle Haggard, and others that slip my mind right now.
• Ice Cream
• Walking on the beach (any beach)
• Evening alone with my girl, fire in the fireplace, and Chicago on the stereo
• Steaks on the grill
• Manhattan Transfer in concert
• Taping singing performances for television
• Family vacations at Lake Tippecanoe
• Sailing, boating, skiing
• Trips to Gatlinburg, Tennessee
• Seeing Nick as the Prince in Cinderella
• Fishing and not caring whether I catch anything
• Living at the Monastery
• Playing with my toddlers
• Watching kids grow up

There are plenty more, but that's enough for now.

Lists

If you want to hear my "other story" (see previous post), wait awhile, I'll get to it eventually.

After a very long and busy work week, I feel like making a list. This list is of my pet peeves.

Here goes, in no particular order:

• People on the interstate doing 90 in their big Mercedes, coming up so close they almost tap my bumper and flash their lights to try to intimidate me into driving off the interstate, because there's a string of about 20 big rigs in the right lane.
• The idiots trying to go around everyone by driving up the shoulder in a construction zone, and end up being the cause of the chain-reaction that brings the entire traffic stream to a dead stop.
• Women applying perfume or strong-scented cremes and lotions nearby in a closed space like an airplane. Then they get to watch me throw up.
• While we're on women, women who feel the need to apply their makeup in public, even at the table in a restaurant. Talk about losing an appetite.
• Parents who let their small children get their own food with no supervision at buffets. Kids that need help, drop things, handle the food with their hands, and sneeze and cough all over the buffet.
• Parents of wild children who refuse to lift a finger to quiet, calm, or otherwise try to keep them from driving everyone else in the public place nuts.
• More parents - that let their kids run wild through the neighborhood after school and don't even show up to feed them dinner, parents who don't care whether their kids succeed, abusive, neglectful, inattentive, just so many bad parents it makes me sad.
• Customer service from the telephone company, airlines, BMV, stores, restaurants; Wait, I finally got it! There is no such thing as customer service! No wonder I've been unhappy about it all these years.
• Politicians who lie; believing the end justifies the means.
• Reporters who perpetuate politicians' lies. Because they are aligned with the same political party line. Forget "unbiased journalism", it almost doesn't exist anymore.
• Planned obsolescence.
• Dropped cellular calls. Even when your signal strength is max.
• Friends who aren't really.
• Customers who will lie and cheat to save a couple of bucks.
• The uber-righteous
• Athiest anti-religion activists
• The ACLU. Wouldn't it be nice if they actually fought for what their name says instead of denying others their rights?
• Hatred
• People who base their life's philosophy on emotion, abandoning reason and practicality
• Smokers in a non-smoking area
• Smokers creating a gauntlet outside the building you need to enter
• Mullets and Dreadlocks
• Hip-Hop and Rap
• High gas prices
• Drug Dealers
• Drunk Drivers
• Health Insurance Companies
• Apostate denominations, churches, pastors, priests
• Hurtful and untruthful name-calling, used either to prop up a losing argument or make oneself feel better at the expense of another
• Unfettered Profanity
• Judge George Greer, who just sentenced Terry Schiavo to death by starvation and told the US Congress to get lost.

Maybe my next list should be positive, like favorite things.

Decide for Yourself

Read my story and decide for yourself how you would interpret what happened.

I've already got my own interpretation, because after all, I am the one who had the experience. This is one of two such experiences I have had in my lifetime, the second of which I will publish sometime later.

It was the spring of 1975. I was 17, and looking forward to my high school graduation. My family had recently moved into a brand new home built by my father with some help from my brother and me. I thought it was a terrific home, with plenty of space and a bedroom of my own.

On Sunday morning, I was lying in my bed asleep. I found myself awake, but at first a little disoriented. Instead of opening my eyes to see the normal view of my bedroom, I was looking down at my own body lying in the bed. I immediately realized that I had died, but was not in the least upset or concerned about that fact. It was a sort of bemused detachment, observing the lifeless body on the bed and knowing it was mine, but not feeling any particular distress about that realization.

It wasn't very long at all, no more than a few seconds, when I felt an inviting presence from a growing light behind me. It seemed to be coming through the top corner of my bedroom at the opposite corner from the bed.

But it wasn't just a light. There was a presence inside the light. So far, the presence had no form or name, but the welcoming message was clear, inviting me to move into the light. Strangely, although the light was a brilliant white light, brighter than any light I had ever experienced, it did not hurt my eyes to look into, nor did it seem to emanate heat.

But inside the light was the most loving, caring, consoling, welcoming presence beyond anything I could have imagined. The nonverbal invitiation was clearly encouraging me to pass from my room, my home, and the earthly plane to whatever dimension the light inhabited. This was no dream, as everything around me was completely real, in vivid color, and I was fully awake and alert.

Just as I began to move toward the light, in a way that might seem like floating but seemed much freer, I spotted my mother walking toward my room in the hallway. I was momentarily bemused by how easily I could see her through the walls and the door. As she approached, wearing her customary blue housecoat and slippers, I heard her say or maybe think, "I have to get Dan up."

Immediately I told (who, the presence, the light, God?), "I can't go, my Mom's coming". But, then again, I didn't really "say" it, I just sort of expressed it in some non-verbal manner that I knew was perfectly understood. "He" openly accepted my desire to return, and in less than a blink of the eye, I was sitting up in my bed as my mother lightly knocked and opened my bedroom door. "Time to get up, Dan", she said. I replied, "I just had the most amazing dream!". She just smiled and told me to get ready for Church.

Getting out of bed, I felt the most incredible euphoria, as if all of my problems, worries, aches and pains, and everything else had been taken away. I enthusiastically showered, had breakfast, and went to Church. At Church, I had a feeling that they all meant well but were missing the point in some way. On the other hand, I couldn't exactly explain what point it was that they were missing, but I did have this lingering feeling that all the questions of God, the Universe, my Life's purpose, and other things all had really very simple answers. For some reason, I just seemed to have a mental block that wouldn't let me access those answers, other than the those basic things I now knew; That there is order to the Universe, death is most definitely not the end of life, and an indescribable love and peace await me on the other side.

I remember trying to share this experience with members of my family. Reactions ranged from dismissive ("It's just a dream") to patronizing ("That's nice") to negative ("Stop being creepy"). So I didn't really share the story very much after that.

In fact, I hadn't thought about it much for a long time until earlier this year, when I had another, very vivid dream. This time it wasn't about me, but my mother.

But that's another story.

Hello Hump Day

The only week I'll be in town is half over, and I've got a lot more than half-a-week's work to do. So what am I doing blowing a few minutes on the blog? Good question.

There's not really much politically of interest going on right now, except it was sort of interesting to see the stories about the protestors at the State House during the gay marriage amendment debate. I also read an unbelievably stupid letter to the editor in the Republic this morning favoring government sponsored gay marriage. Just one example of stupidity was a claim that "Jesus never specifically spoke against homosexuality". Yes, he never spoke out about pedophilia or incest either, so does that mean we should stop our bigotry against those practices? There were a number of equally inane arguments, and the letter was so stupid I was tempted to respond with my own letter to the editor. I think I've come to my senses since then.

Finished CASA training, except for one class I'll have to make up sometime later in the spring. Have to go observe a court hearing tomorrow morning, and the swear-in ceremony is supposed to get scheduled soon. That could be interesting, given the fact that I wont be in town any weekday the rest of the month. I wonder when they'll give me a case.

I'm almost finished with my books for 2004, then I have to get caught up through February, since I've got to get my February financials filed with WSI by the end of the week. Tedium.

The meeting yesterday with a prospective client was interesting. They're in the motorcycle/scooter/atv business, and now I'm wanting one. I didn't know that the big motorcycle makers have left the under-500cc market. This guy's working to replace that market with his imports, which sounds like a great opportunity. This might be a fun web project to work on.

I've really got to get busy finding an IMC. The business is poised to really take off, and just needs somebody paying attention to it full-time. I've got to keep the money coming in by doing the independent consulting until there's a big enough client base to let me get back to just focusing on the web part.

Can't find my November AMEX statement. How irritating. But I also need to get some invoices out the door and get to the bank to make a deposit, so I'll let that cheer me up.

About Nothing

Today's update is really about nothing much. I had a long weekend trying to get my business financials up to date. Talk about learning a lesson - I'm going to keep up monthly from now on, because recreating almost a year's worth of transactions in Quickbooks is a nightmare.

Finished CASA training today, and did pretty well on the final exam even though I've missed 3 sessions. Looks like I'll be able to make up one of the sessions on Wednesday, plus I've got to visit a court hearing Thursday morning. They want to swear us in next Tuesday, when I'm scheduled to be in Chicago. Maybe I could make the trip home in the afternoon and drive back on Wednesday, but I hope by some miracle they change the swearing-in date to something I can make. But then again, the only weekday I'll be in town the rest of this month is, what, Good Friday I think.

Gotta go to the dentist, because one of my old crowns popped off at lunchtime. That's uncomfortable, but fortunately not painful. I think it was coming loose for awhile there, because I was feeling something strange in that general area of the mouth the last week or so. I'm just glad I'm not out of town this week, having to wait a whole week to get back home and in to the dentist to get it re-cemented.

Interesting that now we have the FAFSA's in, the colleges are sending us letters asking us to prove it. The small net income from last year, that is. They must be incredulous about the precipitous drop in income over last year. At least there's one positive to starting a new business that barely made expenses the first year. Maybe both Nick and Tim will get full rides next year. Yeah, and I'll probably win the lottery.

Oh well, this year's shaping up to be much better, so I should just enjoy the better college aid programs while I can.

Lately I'm feeling kind of disappointed in the boys. Both of the two older ones are especially disappointing me lately. For some reason all I've seen from both of them lately is incredible self-absorption, lack of any attempt to try to understand or comply with the simplest of their parents' requests, near total disrespect, and no apparent ability to take responsibility for themselves.

It's my fault, I guess. Somehow I've failed to instill the most basic values and life skills in the boys. My fear is that they're going to continue to be self-absorbed, dependent, rude, and inconsiderate. My failure is most likely due to my absence during most of their development years. They don't respect either parent, rebelling against their mother's strict correction and just ignoring me. It's totally wrecked my mood today.

On the other hand, I think this might be very common for young people their age. Let's hope so. If nothing else, I hope someday to hear from them at least that they understand what we were trying to do even though they rebelled against it.

Well, time to wrap up another 12-hour workday. Gotta find something for dinner that will work with the dental problem.

Disingenuous

Disingenuous: Insincere, Untruthful, Hypocritical, Deceitful, Devious, Dishonest.

What a great word. Why do I lean mostly Republican in my political opinions? Because Democrats are, by and large, disingenuous. I can't stand being misled, manipulated, and deceived. And whenever I look at the statements of leading Republicans and Democrats on issues of the day, the most common thread I find is that Republicans are disingenuous much less often than Democrats.

Democrat friends will say, "What about the lies that got us into the Iraq war?". They have all been brainwashed into believing that the administration invented WMD they knew weren't there to get us into the war. Here's my first example; Democrat leaders who want so desperately to unseat GW Bush did all they could to imply and say outright that Bush "misled", "lied", and "overstated" the threat of Saddam. There's exhibit number 1: The administration, along with virtually everyone else in the world, believed that Saddam had WMD. Believing something that later turns out to be incorrect does not make one a liar. That Saddam does not seem to have been a direct consipirator with 9/11 does not mean he was not a collaborator and financier of terrorism.

Need some more examples? Let's take the Social Security Reform proposal. If Democrats were united against a private investment option for younger workers based on some identifiable practical or moral argument, we would have heard it by now. Instead, all we get is stuff about the "dangerous scheme", "cutting benefits by up to 40%", "enriching Wall Street millionaires", and "destroying the safety net for seniors". All together now - Disingenuous!

A quick exercise with my calculator tells me that any working person earning an average of $50K per year over a 40-year working life will have well over $120K in their personal account when they retire. The plan Bush introduced would put that money into an annuity that would supplement the Social Security income they also receive. It doesn't make anybody rich, but it's not a bad supplement.

Why do Democrats oppose this so vociferously? They won't tell anybody the real reasons, because the real reasons are: 1) It takes part of the Social Security surplus out of the budget that they're used to spending on other things, 2) It takes more power away from them and gives it to the people, which hurts their re-election chances, and 3) There is no way they will let Bush succeed in anything on his agenda, even or especially if it's a good idea.

How about one more example - Judicial Appointments. They seem prepared to block all of Bush's judges by threatening filibusters whenever they're brought to the floor for a vote. Why won't they let Bush nominate any judges? They say it's because they are too "radical" and "right-wing". Labels that are not only insulting to the highly qualified men and women they are blocking, but highly disingenouous.

What are the real reasons? 1) They know Roe v. Wade was a constitutionally indefensible decision by an activist liberal court that might get overturned in a court that actually believes in fulfilling its constitutional duty. 2) They want to block any judicial appointments until they get one of their own in office, who will appoint a gaggle of Ginsbergs to finish the job of shredding the constitution in legislating for liberal causes from the bench. And, or course, 3) Just to make it as hard as possible for Bush to get anything done.

In our own state, where the Democrats lost control of the legislature in last year's election, the Democrats walked out to stop debate and passage of scores of bills. Some of the bills may be good and some bad, but rather than stand their ground and tell everyone why they oppose certain legislative initiatives, they choose to walk out and deny a quorum. One of the bills is a very simple requirement that voters show legally issued identification (Driver's license or equivalent) before they be allowed to cast their vote. Why do they say they oppose the idea? Because it amounts to a "poll tax"; that it's too difficult for some poor people to acquire a government-issued ID or even bring their birth certificate along to the polling place. Baloney. What's their real reason for opposition? Dead people and felons and other fraudulent voters have been keeping their candidates employed for decades, and will probably lose if there's an actual requirement that they be legitimate voters.

The word for today - Children, can you say "Disingenuous"? Very good!

Approaching Normal

That bug (flu most likely) was pretty much the worst I've had in a few years. Adding to the misery was an inability to just take a day off to rest. The best I could do was take off early the first day (5 O'Clock) and spend lunch breaks with my feet up in the hotel room. Finally, I'm approaching normal with just a nagging cough that refuses to go away.

Was happy to have Nick home at least for the weekend, even though he made it abundantly clear to all of us how much he hated it. Depressing, because it feels like hating home = hating us (me). I know it's partly the house, which we moved into his Junior Year in HS, so it's not really home. I much preferred the house in town myself, but the country seems to make Claudia happy. And partly the isolation, being way out in the country and away from friends. But we all did our best to make him feel welcome. Guess we failed.

I was only home for the weekend, so I tried to make room to spend as much time with my eldest as possible, and am happy to have at least had that time. Back out the door first thing Monday morning, catching the CASA class before heading back to Chi-Town.

Things are really picking up on the business front. I came back from Chicago to 3 checks in the mailbox. That's exciting, but it also means there are hours and hours of work that must be done that I have no idea how I'll be able to do it all. I really need some help, but it's a little too early to go out and hire someone. The definition of the rock and hard place.

Speaking of which, time to stop messing around in blogger and get to work.

Oh No I'm Sick

I can't believe it. Whatever it is, it seems to have started with Tim, moved on to Chris, and now I have it. My day started out OK, just a little tired and creaky feeling in the morning. But as the day has progressed, I have been feeling worse and worse, until right now I feel like a truck ran over me.

Time to go home. On the way I'll stop and get whatever looks like it might work for my symptoms. I'm so ticked, as I've really been staying away from all the flus and other stuff that went around all winter. Now I get hammered. Plus, I'm supposed to head back to Chicago right after my morning class tomorrow. Well, we will cross that bridge when we get to it.

I used to wonder which of my sons would be married first, or which was most likely to make me a grandpa first. For a long time, I expected it would be Tim, who has pretty much always had the girls hanging around and never lacked for female companionship.

But now I'm changing my prediction to Nick. But you say that Nick doesn't even have a prospective girlfriend right now? True, but he seems pretty focused (dare I suggest consumed) with finding one. I could be off base, but it seems like Nick's at the stage where he's actively seeking "the one". Tim's nowhere near that mindset. Therefore my prediction - Nick will stumble across his dream girl before 2005 is over, and will marry her shortly after graduation.

Of course, now that I've made the prediction, Nick will probably read my blog and be motivated to prove me wrong, just blowing up the whole thing altogether. Even so, I'll stick with it at least until I find evidence that makes me change my mind.

Trying to have a little fun in the midst of misery helps just a little.

Racial Ramblings

I haven't been able to blog for awhile, between an outrageous schedule and lacking a connection to the net in the evenings for a week. For some reason, probably all the stuff we're getting right now on "Black History Month", it's brought forward lots of thoughts about the whole race issue. If you are sensitive and pc, you might want to stop reading now, because I've decided to be completely honest in the following analysis.

The popular societal trends and attitudes these days say that we western-european-caucasian-whitebread folks should feel guilt about our forefathers' treatment of the black race. Affirmative Action is a racial preference program that noone should dare question lest they be labeled "racists". It has even been suggested that those who don't support the so-called "reparations" movement are also racist bigots. That one suggests that we all should contribute toward today's equivalent of "40 acres and a mule" that was suggested by a Union General after the Civil War to help slaves start their new lives in freedom. Today's equivalent of 40 acres and a mule is actually quite a lot of money; if 40 acres is worth $10k/acre on the low end and today's mule might be a Ford Pickup truck, we're looking at reparations being about $450,000.

What is today's status of this problem of race in our country? Are blacks still discriminated against in the workplace? Yes, there are probably lots of instances you could find if you looked hard enough where a qualified black person was denied a job because of their skin color. However, if you looked harder, you would also find the same denial to Asians, Hispanics, most definitely Middle-Easterners, women, homosexuals, smokers, fat people, people who look just like a hated relative of the hiring manager, I could go on and on.

There's lots of talk about diversity and tolerance, suggesting that all those red-necks who don't agree with giving preferential treatment to blacks and homosexuals are no better than the KKK. Somehow anyone who objects to preferential treatment for any group is full of "intolerance, bigotry, and hatred". Allow me to suggest it is those who use those labels to define people that disagree with them are the only ones guilty of those attitudes.

What forms my opinions on the subject is a mixture of my own education and experience. First of all, I honestly do not hate anybody, and do not expect that I ever will. In my lifetime, when I have found individuals that are unpleasant to be around, I have simply politely separated myself from them. Of the few individuals I can think of who fell into that category, none were black.

Some of the most friendly, outgoing, genuinely likeable people I have known and been friends with have been black. Strictly on a racial factor, I have personally liked far more of the blacks I have met than Asians or Hispanics. In fact, if I were in charge of hiring for a technical position today, I would find it much easier to hire a qualified black than an Asian, because I have found it much more difficult to develop friendly relationships with Asians. But here begins my experiential reasoning for my opinions. In the case of my black friends, I noticed an unmistakeable trend: They were all shunned by their racial peers as "acting white", "uncle Toms", and were social outcasts among those in the closed racial circles.

My first experiences with this phenomenon were when I was a student at Ball State. My black friends were outcasts from the larger group of blacks on campus, who largely kept to themselves, and regarded my friends as some sort of traitors. It's difficult to relate to a group of people who form relationships only with people of their own race and regard everyone else as untrustworthy. On top of that, the campus fraternity members literally branded themselves and their pledges ran around campus at night wearing only shorts and chains.

Living in South Carolina for six years, where black people were in the majority, substantially added to that experience. The schools were dismal failures in academic achievement, so those who could afford it generally sent their children to private and parochial schools. Interestingly, studies were done on this poor performance, which uncovered several contributing factors that the local people had known for some time.

The high schools in particular had ongoing gang issues. Any black student who aspired to do well in school was socially rejected by his/her peers, and might even be at risk of beatings by the school gangs for "acting white". Many black students who took their studies seriously went to elaborate lengths to hide their good grades from others, and would slide into the black slang (called "ebonics" by some) when in the presence of their peers. It was incredibly difficult for a black child to excel in school in South Carolina because of the extremely negative culture.

Other studies on Affirmative Action have found that the preferential spots reserved for blacks almost always go to affluent black students. Again, to cite my own observations when I attended graduate school at the University of South Carolina, government programs simply do not work. Here's what I saw at USC:

People in South Carolina were rather upset that their own students (of all races) were unable to get into the more highly sought degree programs in their own state university. According to USC, high school graduates of the state mostly did not meet the minimum requirements for acceptance into those degree programs. Most of the students in those programs came from out of state or out of the country.

Then there was my own graduate program. I was in the MBA program at USC that was structured for working people. As I recall, approximately 25 percent of our entering class in the program were black. When I graduated, there were only two left (not 2 percent, 2 students!). Understandably, there is a lot of attrition from a program like that. It's intense and very difficult to keep up with studies in a Master's program where you meet in 4-hour evening sessions 2-3 times per week, then all day Saturday every third week. And all sorts of people had to drop out, take some time off, or failed for a variety of reasons. But on a percentage basis, the attrition of the black students in particular was shocking.

I saw a similar situation develop when I went to school for my computer degree. There was a fairly large contingent of black people who began the computer program, but almost none completed it successfully. A particular incident I had direct knowledge of was a black female student who noticed that all the employees in the computer lab were white. So she went to the school administration and demanded she be hired to work in the lab or she would bring a discrimination lawsuit against the school. She was hired, and was terribly unqualified for the job. Whenever I had a shift immediately following hers, it always took me at least the first hour of my shift to clean up her "messes", which ranged from huge backlogs in turnaround of student projects to one time when she actually "crashed" the system. As much as I would like to be able to say that there were black people at that school who would have been qualified to work for that computer lab, there absolutely was not a single one. It was a small school, and I knew pretty much everyone, and helped many with their projects. I knew who was competent and who was not. Sadly, they were not.

One interesting fact, also from my experience in the educational system, was that race alone was not the determining factor of success in technical programs. I knew some black students from Africa and the Caribbean who were extremely successful. It was the American-born black students who were incapable of succeeding in the technical coursework.

On a personal basis, we had a black family next door to us for our last couple of years in South Carolina. The father was in the Army (there's a large base in Columbia), and was a genuinely great guy. His son and mine (Tim) played together almost every day, and were inseparable. However, the mother of the family was standoffish, and we saw her very little.

One day, the two boys apparently had a spat over a toy. According to Claudia, the neighbor boy's mother was terribly upset and accused our son of a racial motive for taking his toys and coming home after the boys had their argument. This floored us, as the boys were only about 4 or 5 years old, and were great friends. Disputes over toys is quite normal at that age, and of course this one was already forgotten and the boys playing together as if nothing had happened. But the whole racial preconceptions seemed to be so deeply ingrained in the mother that her first reaction was that the argument was somehow a racial issue.

There are some, especially Bill Cosby, who are crusading to get black families stronger and more focused on morality and education. I'm in total agreement with him and others like him. Blacks will not escape their plight by forcing the rest of us to give them their 40 acres and a mule, but by keeping their families together and rubbing out the whole culture of alienation.

Given my age, I believe there have been great strides in educational opportunity and achievement. I sincerely hope that black students are succeeding in many technical programs in much better numbers, and that the negative cultural messages are beginning to be overcome.

What Weekend?

The weekend is here, but I've got far too much going on to be able to enjoy it.

Got back from Chicago last night, and then got up early to get my proposal ready for the prospective web client that came to visit this morning. Although it was an encouraging meeting, I've been through many like it before. Typical story is, I get through the demos, find out specifically what they want, develop the proposal for just that, then get the standard "we'll get back to you". Hopefully this isn't one of those.

If I could just get a couple of these clients signed up now and then, I wouldn't have to go on the road so much. The attraction of the consulting thing, besides it being very easy for me to do, is that I get paid pretty well, and by the hour. None of that working into the night or getting up at 6AM to prepare and then getting no result. It's a whole lot harder to sign up a new client than to deliver services that have already been sold by somebody else. It's totally shot my confidence in having any ability to sell; I'm not sure I could sell ice water to people in ..., well you get the idea.

Ever try to get health insurance on your own? Turns out it's impossible if anybody in your family has ever had a diagnosis. Tim's the picture of health, and they won't insure him because he was once diagnosed with asthma. Claudia's fine, but had a hip replacement, so she's uninsurable. I'm overweight, also uninsurable. What a messed up system. If only I could hire one or two people in my business, then we could get group insurance, no sweat.

Gotta get started on taxes this weekend as well, since the financial aid info for the boys is due. And I've got to sing tonight on top of it all. Then back to Chicago right after class on Monday.

Here's the only bright side. There isn't any football on this weekend for me to miss, except maybe the Pro Bowl, which isn't all that exciting.

Help Wanted

I'll use the blog today to try out an ad I need to put together. I really need to expand my reach, and this is how I hope to accomplish that.

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY
If you or someone you know wants to build your own business, with freedom to set your own schedule and earn as much as your motiviation and ability allows, then send your resume for consideration.

The following attributes are required for candidates:

1. You must be self-directed, entrepreneurial, and able to work without supervision.
2. You must be well versed with the internet and its capabilities. Technical skills are helpful, but not required.
3. You must have some background in Sales and Marketing. You must have solid oral and written communication skills, and be able to comfortably interact with business owners and managers.
4. You must be customer-service focused, and committed to exceeding customer expectations.
5. You must be consulting-oriented, capable of finding creative solutions to business problems.
6. You must be willing to work hard, including some evenings and weekends to meet customer needs.
7. You must have dependable transportation, and be able to travel within a 100 mile radius of Columbus, Indiana.
8. You must have the ability to survive on very little income for the first 6 months.

Do you meet all of the above criteria? Here's what you can expect.

• You will represent a global company with over 1,100 offices in 87 countries.
• Your product offerings exceed those of any other business in the marketplace.
• Your average income, based on national averages, will be approximately $2,000 for each new client. Your total income potential is nearly unlimited.
• You will receive personalized, hands-on training in the local office at no cost. Additional training is available from the company for a fee plus travel expenses if desired.
• You will receive office space, telephone, and internet access at no cost. You must provide your own laptop computer (made available at cost from the company).
• A list of prospective clients will be provided upon completion of training to help you get started.
• Once you have established a thriving business, you may be offered the opportunity to open your own independent office.

For more information, contact me at the email address provided.

Monday Morning

So, how did I do?

Predictions:
Patriots 31 Eagles 17 Actual: Patriots 24 Eagles 21 (You could say I was only 3 points off on the total score, and I got the winner correct)

T.O. a non-factor Actual: He didn't score, but he did rack up some pretty decent receiving stats.

No Lewd Hip-Hop Halftime Show Actual: Paul McCartney. Very family-friendly show that I thought was also very entertaining. (Tim sneered and refused to watch).

At least one very funny commercial Actual: I laughed pretty hard at the cat & spaghetti sauce commercial, and the commercials with the monkeys were pretty funny.

New record for sports cliches Actual: I suppose that's a hard one to prove one way or the other, but I thought Aikman and Collinsworth were actually pretty good.

So what's the verdict? Am I psychic or a fraud?

If you think I'm psychic, send me your name, address, your question, and $100, and I'll answer your question. (fine print: management is not responsible for inaccurate predictions. For entertainment purposes only.)

Lent Already

Lent seemed to sneak up on me this year. Somehow I thought it was later, but here it comes this week already.

My lenten sacrifice has been chosen, and it will be extremely difficult. But I won't tell anybody what it is. Those who tell everybody they know what they are "giving up for Lent" are kind of missing the point, I think. If nobody ever knows what my sacrifice is, all the better. Otherwise, the awe, pity, or praise you get from others becomes your reward. Ergo, the point of the whole exercise is missed.

Also, I think that people who participate in some token lenten sacrifice just because they feel obligated or just want something to tell others about might as well not do it at all. Some jokingly talk about giving up something they don't do anyway, but I think there are people whose sacrifices aren't much more difficult. Something I think is very clear about the experience is that it should be a personal expression of prayer, study, and growth. If it's anything less, there's no point.

I worked with a guy who drank so much, I often wondered if he was an alcoholic. He always made a big deal out of giving up drinking for Lent every year. It seems to me that, outside of his drinking buddies, it would have been of more spiritual value if nobody else really knew about his sacrifice. On the other hand, I think we all were sort of his support system, encouraging and praising him for being able to control his addiction, even if it was limited to 40 days. So I suppose it worked for him, in a way.

Something I have recently decided, apart from the Lent thing, is essentially this: I am beginning a journey toward meeting some specific short and long-term goals I have set for myself. Those goals are known by nobody, and I will not share them even here in my little obscure blog.

The point of all this is that the attainment of these goals is for personal reasons only. I'm not doing anything to make anybody else proud or happy. Even my family will probably never really know for sure, A) That I even set goals, and B) Whether or which goals I may have attained. Outside of what may be apparent.

By the way, the To-Do list I posted awhile ago in this blog, while it may offer some hints, it isn't going to tell you what I'm ultimately up to. Those are just things I'd like to do before I die; this is about much more than that. (Did you think I'd be that easy to figure out?).

On to more serious matters.

The Super Bowl starts in a couple of hours. Let's see if I have any football psychic powers. Patriots 31, Eagles 17. T.O. is a non-factor. No lewd Hip-Hop or flashing in the halftime show. At least one very funny commercial. The commentators set a new record for football cliches.

Indiana played Illinois in basketball this afternoon. I don't know the final score, because it was headed for a blowout. Illinois may be the best team in the country this year, but that doesn't excuse Indiana's inability to even stay on the court with them. How sad to see such a great basketball program slide so quickly into mediocrity. If there isn't a coaching change after this season, I suspect the alumni will go ballistic.

I'll check against my predictions tomorrow, and find out if I've got superpowers or am a mere mortal.

Weekend Lyrics

In honor of Nick, who posts song lyrics on his blog every day, here are some lyrics from a song I knew well, some time ago.

It's kind of syrupy sweet and sappy, and not at all like the cynical, faux-sophisticated, often vulgar songs that seem to be popular now. What I do know is that once upon a time, if a guy had a decent voice and could play a passable guitar, he could capture the girl of his dreams with this song.

Jim Croce.

If I could save time in a bottle,

The first thing that I'd like to do

Is to save every day till eternity passes away,

Just to spend them with you

If I could make days last forever,

If words could make wishes come true

I'd save every day like a treasure and then,

Again, I would spend them with you

But there never seems to be enough time,

To do the things you want to do

Once you find them

I've looked around enough to know,

You're the one I want to go

Through time with.

If I had a box just for wishes,

And dreams that had never come true

The box would be empty,

Except for the memory

Of how they were answered by you.

But there never seems to be enough time,

To do the things you want to do

Once you find them

I've looked around enough to know,

You're the one I want to go

Through time with

Idealism?

Attending the banquet for the Pregnancy Care Center last night got me thinking about their particular brand of idealism and it's contrast with the other (dark) side.

One of their programs is presenting abstinence education programs, which I was somewhat surprised to learn are welcomed by the schools. Oops - maybe I shouldn't let that go public and let the ACLU hear about it.

I wonder, is the idealistic hope that teens who hear the abstinence message from this program will embrace it, even though virtually everything else they see and hear in our secular culture teaches them the exact opposite?

How would anyone begin to try to offset the values of our culture, where a teen is generally ridiculed for being a virgin. Where pregnant girls are told to go ahead and abort, because it's really just some blob of tissue, and abortion is just one of many birth control options. Where sincere people working hard to offer alternatives from a perspective of faith are demonized as bible-thumping hypocrites. Where the outrageous spread of STD's and AIDS are seldom mentioned, or if they are, the only suggested solution is a condom. Where abortion is advocated as both a right and a responsibility, to be performed on-demand, without parental notification even for the youngest mothers, right up to full term.

What I found sobering was the fact that Christian children are having sex just as much as their non-churched peers. What more evidence would we need that the secular values are having a greater impact than those the church is trying to impart.

I'm thinking I would love to meet people over 18 who have chosen to remain virgins and committed to saving it for their spouse. Knowing the incredible pressures anyone in that situation faces to abandon that sort of pledge, I could have nothing but the ultimate respect for that choice. It takes an amazing amount of not only self-control, but courage. To be willing to move on from a relationship with a person one thinks might be "the one" when being rejected for saying "no". After all, what could be better than two people entering a marriage in true purity (I now wince at the myth of the white wedding dress), able to begin their lifelong relationship with no baggage from prior partners.

In the meantime, all anyone can do is offer support and help to try to save as many babies as possible. The investment in ultrasound machines for each center is turning out to be possibly more effective than just about anything else in helping convince women and girls to carry their baby to term.

Just call me psychic

Pretty good trick, don't you think? I got it almost exactly right on the Social Security proposal. Am I psychic, or hooked into the White House?

Naw. It's just common sense.

Wasn't that the weakest response by an opposing party to a State of the Union speech we've ever seen? Unbelievable.

Complaining that Bush should be doing all the stuff in Iraq he's already doing. Just isn't doing it fast enough? We're all supposed to jump and yell, "Right On!" ? Duhhh.

And Social Security is just fine. It doesn't need any changes. They'd have you believe that Bush wants to give you gambling money to go to Vegas and try to win your retirement at the roulette wheel. Just amusing. (See my last post on Social Security for why democrats REALLY oppose the plan)

That's entertainment that continues to tickle our funny bone, straight from DC.

Social Security Reform for Dummies

I don't know exactly what the president's proposal is for Social Security reform beyond the basic idea of letting people put 2% of their withholding into personal retirement savings accounts. But I do know exactly how the proposal could be designed in a way that nobody could object to it with any credibility.

The program could be very simple, and it should be a long-term plan that eventually leads to the entire payroll tax being funnelled directly to personal accounts, maybe 50 years from now. But let's start with the 2% proposal for now.

A new type of retirement account, similar to the IRA, would be designed, but with some specific differences. For our purposes, we'll call the new account an SRA (Security Retirement Account). To qualify, the investment vehicle must be approved and certified by the Social Security Administration. It would have to have a proven track record, passing audits, showing a solid long-term rate of return, etc. Most of the more popular mutual funds would easily qualify.

Then, the rules of the account would include the following:
1. Funds cannot, under any circumstances, be distributed before legal retirement age or the death of the fund owner.
2. Funds cannot be used as collateral for loans, cannot be attached by creditors, and are otherwise exempt from being attached for any purpose other than retirement or survivor's benefits.
3. Funds would include life insurance that would pay a pre-established death benefit to the survivors of the account owner if death occurs prior to retirement. At retirement, the fund's balance becomes the death benefit.
4. The funds also would include insurance that guarantee principle and/or a minimum growth rate. These insurance plans are available and being sold commercially today.
5. The distribution from the account upon retirement will normally be provided through an annuity, but the retiree can withdraw the entire value if they meet certain conditions.
6. Of course, like any other investment account, the balance of the account will be included in the estate upon the death of the owner, to be distributed to heirs as determined by the owner's will and existing laws.

The only conceivable objections people might have against the program would be that the accounts might be taken by creditors, blown by the owner, put into risky investments, etc. Well, I've laid out ideas above that would address those objections.

So, what possible objection could be left? That's easy. If your congressperson was honest, they would have to admit that the Social Security Trust Fund isn't at all what we've been led to believe. They make payments to existing beneficiaries, then the rest is basically taken by the Congress to pay for everything else. So, the problem isn't the concept, which is terrific. The problem is that these accounts would drain a huge amount of money away from the Federal Government, which is the same as taking the drugs away from an addict. They would be forced to either cut taxes or spending to make up the difference of all those dollars slipping through their grasp.

When you hear opponents talk about the plan "bankrupting" the social security system, what they really mean is it's going to drop billions of dollars from the till that they are used to emptying out every year to fund unrelated programs. The main question a citizen has to ask him or herself is, would we rather have our own social security account that belongs to us, gives us a higher income after retirement, and that we can pass on when we die; or are we content to pay the tax throughout our lifetime and have some go to other retirees and the rest into the government's coffers, while not really believing it's going to be there for us when we retire?

Not much question about my choice.

Cool Limerick for the Wiz

I stumbled across this and thought it was good enough to share. I'd credit the author if I knew who it was.

The fabulous Wizard of Oz
Retired from his racket because,
What with up-to-date science,
To most of his clients
He wasn’t the Wizard he was

dem dummies

I've taken a long break from politics, but stuff happening lately is actually getting somewhat humorous. For a bunch of people who want us to believe they're the intelligent ones, they sure have been stupid lately.

Here are great ways to win over the American people:

Barbara Boxer is the poster child for stupid democrats these days. First she raises a challenge to Ohio's electoral votes by alleging fraud, but has no evidence whatsoever to back up her challenge. The best arguments she could come up with was that the lines were long in some minority polling places and some people couldn't or wouldn't wait, and that there was a problem with a machine at one place (which everybody knows was caught and corrected). She then had the distinct honor of being the only Senator to vote against certifying the electoral count for Ohio.

Then good ol' BB proceeded to make a fool of herself by openly calling Condi Rice a liar in her confirmation hearings for Sec State. Condi slapped her down with a masterful retort that got lots of play across the media. So Barbie decided to get even more petty by holding up the confirmation vote just for spite. There might be a couple dozen wackos in her San Fransisco consituency applauding her, but I'm guessing the rest of Californians probably now consider her an embarrassment.

Now we get a great success in the Iraqi election, and here comes John Kerry. Still acting the part of the sore loser, he can't bring himself to say anything positive about the outcome, but still seems to be making the same campaign speeches. Maybe if he says it often enough, people will finally start to believe him when he says that he could get the UN to cooperate and share the burden of helping Iraq rebuild and stamp out the insurgency. Interesting that he still hasn't explained just how he would do that - apparently just the force of his charismatic personality will make guys like Chirac and Schroeder come around; "Sure, we'll be happy to give billions of dollars and thousands of soldiers to the effort in Iraq just because it's you asking, Mr. Kerry". What's that guy smokin?

And Kennedy is still talking like a drunken fool, Pelosi is a nutcase, don't get me started on Byrd, and they just might make Howard Dean the chairman of their party. Wow, I'm no political expert, but even I see clearly that just about everything they are doing right now is incredibly stupid.

How about instead of slamming Bush at every turn, they offer their own alternative plans and ideas? Anybody ever heard them say what they think would work better, in Iraq, for Social Security, balancing the budget, stimulating the economy, etc.? I haven't.

How about instead of obstructing everything Bush is trying to accomplish, they step up and offer to deal. Mr. President, you want us to help pass initiative A? How about you give us our minimum wage increase? Get the concept? (Look up 'compromise', it's in the dictionary)

I've always been suspicious of politicians, but I don't know if I've ever seen them acting so irrational and stupid as the dems right now. At least it's almost entertaining to watch.

Busy week ahead

Got a full plate this week, mostly because I've been out of town nearly every week in the past couple of months.

Went to CASA training this morning, first session. It will be fascinating to see what sort of cases I get. I think I'll enjoy this little volunteer sideline, but it might be painful and difficult. Either way, I'm fascinated to find out. I'll probably miss some of the sessions and will have to make them up in the spring, but we'll see what happens.

Not much happening over the weekend, and we didn't really feel like doing much anyway because the weather stinks. Definitely a weekend that makes me look forward to Spring.

Tax time! W2's are in, and I've got to get busy because the FAFSA is due very soon. A strange system when you think about it. Parental income the key factor in their kids' college financial aid package. I'm not sure I have a great alternative to the system; maybe I should give it some thought. It does concern me the apparently huge numbers of college grads that have to start their working lives under the shadow of big debts for their education.

All for another time. If I don't go get lunch right now, the next chance for a meal is way out sometime tonight.

To Do List

How many people have a To Do List of things they want to do before they die?

I'll share mine here if you promise not to make fun of me. These are the things I'd like to cross of my list before I'm dead.

1. Trim down and get into shape. Sounds easy, right? For some reason it's the hardest thing in the world for me right now.

2. Play in a basketball league. And play well. (requires prerequisite #1 above)

3. Sing for more weddings. I love to sing at weddings.

4. Sing a duet onstage with Celine Dion. And do better than hold my own next to her.

5. Cut my own CD Album. And have lots of people play it and like it. And not care if it ever earned a dime.

6. Dance like I once did. Un-self-consciously. (also requires prerequisite #1 above)

7. Build my dream rec room. With all the great stuff that it should have.

8. Get out of bed every morning with a "can't wait for today" attitude.

9. Take the Alaskan Cruise.

10. Tour the Holy Land.

11. Other trips (not necessarily all of them): British Isles, Germany/Austria, Italy, Greece, Egypt, Australia/New Zealand.

12. Be at weddings for all 3 boys. Be a best friend to them and their wives. Have a great relationship with my grandchildren. (I'm somewhat sad that I'll never get to walk a daughter down the aisle.)

13. Buy a new car just because I like it, even if it's completely impractical.

14. Have Colts Season Tickets with great seats and somebody to go with who's actually into it.

15. Go to lots of grandchildrens' sports events and concerts. Assuming I have grandchildren someday.

16. Save a life. Or have a major positive influence on one that is acknowledged by that person.

17. Die in my sleep the night after I've checked off the last item on the list. Having been pretty much healthy up to that moment.

There's more, but I'll never tell anyone about them, they are too personal.

Education Inspiration

I've never done two blog entries in the same day, but this has been rambling around in my head all week, and maybe I can move on easier if I write it down.

Between hearing about my own kids' views of high school and remembering my own experiences, our current education system at the high school level doesn't make much sense.

True when I was that age, and apparently even more true today is the fact that most kids pretty much are marking time their Junior and Senior years in high school. For me, those years were much more about having fun in my sports and music activities and making money on the side than the education I got between 8 and 3:30 every day.

Sure, I was serious enough about my education to want to get good grades and go to college. But I'd have to say that was well down the list from my sports, playing trombone in the Jazz Ensemble, and the various singing groups and youth trips and just hanging out with friends. Academically, my senior year in particular was of very little value, and I was mostly just marking time and having fun while trying to get a decent SAT score and apply to colleges.

If anybody's really serious about "fixing" education, they should first face reality. By the end of the 10th grade, probably 80 percent of kids have all the education they will need, at least to get entry into college. Juniors and seniors are either taking the AP and college-prep classes, some are marking time in Vo-Tech programs, but most are just taking the easiest classes they can find and getting into trouble.

I think it's really easy. Public schools should be reconfigured to end after the 10th grade. After finishing the 10th grade, students should then be free to choose from a myriad of options. Some form of the good old "vouchers" system would probably be the main source of funding, but imagine the possibilities:

Kids who are headed for the trades could go directly into apprentice programs or Vo-Tech schools. Some might go to work immediately for construction companies, HVAC companies, Plumbers, Electricians, etc.

Others who just want to go to work are free to do so. They can go ahead and get the factory job, fast food job, retail, whatever. But, until they turn, say 19, they can access their "voucher" benefits to finish their education in evening or weekend programs at local schools or community colleges.

College-bound kids can go to college prep schools, community colleges, or the actual colleges and universities, where they would start with the fundamental courses they need before entering the degree programs one or two years later. This could lead to specialized schools and programs that cater to students interested in engineering, math & sciences, medicine, music & arts, or general studies programs for those who aren't sure yet.

Bottom line, give the kids freedom after the 10th grade to start their lives by going directly into their chosen life and career path, rather than have them mark time for two more years in dinosaur high schools. That means they will enter an environment of their own choosing, and be able to pursue their career aspirations through education and training that is relevant to their chosen life path. That would allow kids of similar interests to study together in a safer, smaller environment that's actually productive for them.

If this had happened when I was in school, my main concern would have been losing out on the stuff I really enjoyed, sports and music. Of course, none of that has to go away. For those who are interested in participating, the schools they go to after the 10th grade can still sponsor similar programs, either within their curricula or as extra-curricula programs. It seems to me that this approach would provide much greater opportunity for these types of activities instead of less, as there will be more, smaller, and better schools in the community providing the education they really want. For example, instead of 1 or 2 high schools in the county with basketball, soccer, football, baseball, volleyball, etc., imagine there are 10 or 12 schools fielding teams. More kids get to participate, there's a lot more competition, and a lot more fun.

I know better than to think this idea has much of a prayer of catching the attention of enough people to make it a reality. There are way too many people who would fight this idea to the death even if it started to gain momentum, and too many politicians willing to pander to those entrenched interests.

It's still a good idea.

Living in the Twilight Zone

What a strange week. But in its own way, it's been sort of fun.

It started off with an eerie sort of vision or dream or intuition about Nick that I emailed him about, and his response seems to indicate I might have been right. Cool.

Then I go for the planning sessions at my new consulting engagement. A casino. Comp'd me on a very nice suite, which was a good start. Then the fun began.

We want you to build us a system for HR and Payroll, and it has to be live by March 15th. But you can only talk to our staff (in HR and Payroll) for 4 hours. And you can't see any employee information. And nobody knows yet what the benefit plans will be.
The good news is that we're giving you this test data. It's got all our favorite cartoon characters, from Mickey Mouse to Sponge Bob. It's just names and addresses, though - no information about the cartoon characters' positions or taxes or voluntary deductions or anything else, really. Except their Direct Deposit accounts....

It started out strange, and quickly progressed to ludicrous. I spent lots of time preparing my explanations about why this just wasn't going to work, and giving them precisely what data I will need to be successful. They're going to aggressively pursue permission to get the information I need - we'll see how that works.

Then I get home and hear a hilarious update from Tim about his girlfriend screening. He broke off his previous relationship because she worked so much that they really couldn't spend much time together. So now, the girls are lined up for his attention - it brings to mind an image of the 'American Idol' auditions. Cracks me up.

In true Tim fashion, he's taking his time to make a choice. I asked him why make one at all - why not just date all of the ones you find interesting? He says it doesn't work that way. Strange generational change, I suppose. He knows it doesn't really matter that much, since everybody's graduating and going their separate ways in a few months anyway.

So what is it about Tim that seems to attract girls like moths to the porchlight?

I'm not totally sure, but it could be his looks (reminiscent of Kirk Douglas), his body (football player/lifeguard buff), his caveman attitude (very masculine, very private about personal feelings), his personality (kind of quiet, but funny and a practical joker).

Or maybe it's just that he doesn't care whether he's got a girl on his arm or not. He's not needy or possessive. He can be rude and direct, and won't put up with feminine nonsense and manipulation. He seems the opposite of what the feminist world advertises about what women want, but maybe he is not what they say they want but what they really want.

It's interesting and amusing at the same time. I hope I get to meet the girl when he finally makes up his mind.

Spring Break Planning

I forgot about the fact that it's hard to redeem miles for travel over Spring Break if you wait until late January. I'll keep trying, because I'd rather fly to Sarasota than drive.

It was an interesting experiment, where I told everyone I was going to Florida for Spring Break, and they could choose to come along or stay home. Chris was the first definitive "Yes". Then Tim did his usual schtick, starting with "I'll go if Nick goes". When I told him Nick couldn't go because his spring break wasn't the same week, he changed to "I'll go if Mom and Chris don't go". So I told him that Chris was definitely going, and it became "I'll go if Mom doesn't go".

Funny, Mom told Tim she was going if he was, but she was staying home if he stayed home. So we've got a standoff. I'm not going to bother trying to talk anybody into anything. If Tim wants to go, it's with the family; if not, he gets to stay home with his mother. I think the strategy actually is working out pretty well; only those who want to go and have a good time will do so, and the rest can stay home.

Now I just have to find a flight that hasn't already handed out all of their FF seats.

Gotta stop messing around with the blog and get my work done so I can get to Chicago at a reasonable hour this evening.

Short Weekends and Mixed Blessings

Taking a few unavailable minutes out to blog today might be just my way of analyzing where recent events are leading. The number one reason I left my company last spring to start this business was being burned out on constant traveling and missing out on the boys. Well, it looks like I'm going to be forced to get back on the road to get the income the family needs.

My hiatus did succeed as far as being able to spend much more time with Tim & Chris. I met the primary goal of making it to every one of Tim's football games this past fall, for which I am thankful. It was too late for Nick, although while he was still around I did spend lots of time with him on weekends, mostly taking him to soccer games and tournaments.

Building a business is difficult, particularly from the standpoint of getting known in the area and building a reference base. Basically I discovered it takes a huge amount of effort to earn a few bucks when you're just getting started. I don't have the budget to do the kind of advertising and hire help that would help ramp up the business faster, which was probably my main miscalculation. I still believe in the business, but just think it's going to take a lot longer than I expected to build.

So, the old company beckons with consulting opportunities. I went on a little 2-day engagement in Chicago in early December that I was able to expand to about a 30-day project. Even though it meant being out of town a lot and having to basically drop most of my selling activities to local prospects, it allowed me to make a lot more money with much less effort.

Now they've asked me to take on an even bigger project, also in Chicago, that's going to take me through Spring Break. It's great in terms of money, but very tough as far as keeping momentum on the rest of my business. I was for awhile kind of hoping John would join me in incorporating the business, which would have allowed us to double our efforts and infuse a little more capital for marketing activities. But John decided to go with a job that sounded pretty attractive, so that didn't work.

Now I'm seriously considering advertising for an IMC (commission salesperson) to work the internet business while I rent myself out to the old company to keep paying the bills. If I can find somebody who's got good sales and marketing savvy and is a motivated self-starter, it can help keep that side of the business building momentum.

Interestingly enough, I find that when I'm out of town consulting, it's much less stressful than when I'm home. Strangely, it's very relaxing for me to finish the day consulting and return to the hotel room, where I can kick back and relax without being bugged or hassled or nagged about anything. It's kind of escaping life, not having to deal with anything difficult as long as I show up at the client and do consulting work that I can do in my sleep after so many years.

Well, the money I can earn is important, especially considering there will be 2 kids in college very soon, we've got 3 ancient vehicles that are all on the verge of falling apart, there's lots of work that needs to be done on the house, and I'd like to be able to get Nick the car he's been wanting for so many years.

Yeah, I know, if Nick had just been willing to work summers and part-time over the past 3-4 years, he could have earned plenty to invest in a vehicle. But what he did earn in a series of jobs he hated went toward computer stuff and movies and restaurants. On the other hand, he gave up the promised graduation car for a full ride in return for enrolling at Rose-Hulman, which is very expensive. That's a sacrifice you'd have to respect.

Anyway, it'll be at minimum summer or fall before we start to feel the impact of all this, but at least I'm no longer as worried about running out of funds and we're still debt-free outside of the mortgage. Counting blessings is a great perspective adjustment.

Gotta go take the family to a movie. I wanted to go see Phantom of the Opera, but they want to see Racing Stripes. Maybe I can catch Phantom in Chicago next week.

Sports Drought

Well, the Colts went and blew it again in New England. Too bad, cause following your favorite team through the playoffs is a great release. It's not the end of the world that they lost, but it immediately drops my interest in divisional championship weekend by at least 50%.

My impression of the game wasn't quite the same as most of the sportswriters and commentators. Maybe it was my imagination, but from the Colts' very first 3-and-out, I thought they looked like they were really suffering in the cold. You could almost read the minds of the offensive players, "@#$% it's cold out here. Let's get this game over with and get out of here!".

Given the dropped passes, missed blocks, fumbles, etc., I'm thinking that's probably pretty close to the truth of the situation. Maybe Denver was partially right - the Colts receivers are soft, at least when it comes to playing outside in freezing temperatures and snow.

The defense played very well in the first half, but really let down in the second. Giving up the clock-crushing TD drive right at the beginning of the third quarter, then being unable to make the stops on 3rd-and-long was as much the story of the game as the offense's ineptitude. Early in the 4th, as I recall, the Colts "D" had the Pats in 3rd-and-long. They dropped into pass coverage, didn't get much of a pass rush, then let the back slip out and catch a short one in the flat without a Colt within 20 yards, running to the first down marker. The Pats drive went on to score while using so much of the 4th quarter clock that Peyton and the offense really had no chance.

Normally, this time of year I would just redirect my sports addiction to the Hoosiers basketball team. But they've been so disappointing it's kind of painful to watch them. I haven't been able to see them more than about 2 or 3 games so far, due to a variety of conflicts. But what I have seen is a talented group of players that don't seem to understand how to win.

The kids can be spectacular at times, and show some tremendous hustle play now and then. But they no longer play the traditional motion offense of Bob Knight. It looks more like an NBA offense, which is kind of like the power company. You know, when one guy does all the work and the rest of the guys stand around and watch him. That's my impression of the Indiana offense.

I've gotta believe that if you got that same team constantly moving, picking, and cutting, plus add a little more attitude and tough-mindedness, they'd be unstoppable. They may be a talented bunch, but they sure aren't talented enough to run one-on-one NBA-style offense and expect to win in the Big Ten.

Oh well, I've got so much work to do these days that I shouldn't spend much time and energy on the sports stuff. I will miss the release it gives me, though.

Random Thoughts

Can't remember the last time I ended the day thinking, "Today was fun!" What will it take to get some fun back into life? Probably just a change in attitude. Now the trick is figuring out how to do that.

People probably think I'm some sort of rabid conservative/republican/right-winger, but I think there can be lots of common ground between my perspectives and those of somebody on the left wing. I find lots of the disagreements between people are based not on problems, but solutions. It's mostly the difference between the belief that government should solve problems and the belief that people should.

I think that:

• Government should not treat anyone differently from anyone else. That goes for rich, poor, racial and ethnic majorities and minorities, huge corporations and tiny start-up businesses, etc. There are way too many examples of preferential treatment that should be ended, period.
• Unions and Collective Bargaining are not inherently evil or bad for the country. If they're not corrupt and willing to negotiate in good faith, they can be very positive.
• Globalization is hurting our standard of living. Gigantic trade deficits, offshoring and outsourcing, and illegal immigration are all acting to drive down wages. When billions of dollars go out of the country never to return, that's wealth we no longer control, and that's bad.
• There's not really anything fundamentally wrong with basic worker protection laws setting minimum wage, overtime rules, safety standards, etc. I'd even support new laws like banning the "use it or lose it" vacation policies so popular today, tougher overtime regulations that insure people earning less than, say, $40-$50K get paid for overtime.
• "Separation of Church and State" is not a constitutional principle, but was fabricated by the ACLU. We should get back to the original intent, which was that there cannot be a state-sponsored religion, people have complete freedom to worship as they please (within the law), and nobody can be coerced into joining any religious institution.
• Abortion can't be outlawed until we all agree it's wrong. That takes education and efforts from everyone to offer alternatives, especially adoption and maternal care for unwed and unfit mothers. Sorry, I'll never agree with the whole "women's right to choose" argument.

Was thinking about our life journey. How the decisions I've made over the past 40-something years have put me on the path that's eventually led to where I am today. Different decisions in the past could have completely changed my career path, my wife, my children, my income, where I live, what I drive, even what I look like. Just think about a single decision - if I had simply chosen another college, almost everything I've experienced in my adult life would probably be completely different.

It just makes me realize what an important message I have to share with any young persons just getting started with their own life pathways. Decisions made about college choices, majors, girl/boy friends, and behavior can place us on a path that may or may not be the one we hoped for once we near it's end and look back. We've got to try to pick whatever path looks best for us, and avoid the one that looks easiest; the rocky and steep path may turn out to be the most rewarding in the end.

All this might not make any sense at all, but there it is.

Greatness

I must be getting old, because this is a topic that's getting more and more play time in my head. The basic questions of what determines greatness, how do you measure a successful life, and what would be a satisfying epitaph?

So, who's greater?

• Bill Gates (Mega-Rich CEO) or Mother Teresa (Saint)
• Peyton Manning (NFL MVP) or Pat Tillman (KIA Afghanistan)
• George W. Bush (Commander-in-Chief, USA) or Mahatma Ghandi (Indian Peace Activist)
• Career Mom (3 kids, earns 6 or 7 figures, hired nanny) or Stay-at-Home Mom (3 kids, full-time mom & housekeeper, husband earns average wages)
• Pat Robertson (televangelist, multi-million dollar worldwide evangelistic empire) or unknown local pastor with struggling congregation of a couple hundred people
• Tort Lawyer, Car Salesman, Congressman, Insurance Salesman, CPA, etc.

It's probably too late for me to become a great achiever - definitely in sports, and most probably in business. On the other hand, I don't know if I ever aspired to such achievement. I'm not nearly as ambitious as I was early in my career; when I reached that goal of becoming an IS Director, I found out it wasn't at all what I imagined. It's more fun and less stress to be an individual contributor, and the long hours and constant pressure of the position of responsibility may not be worth the little extra in the paycheck.

Whatever one's profession, I think doesn't matter too much in the long run. What really matters is what impact you had on those you touched over your lifetime. Maybe we should all spend a little time thinking about the people who influenced our lives in a positive way during our lifetime, and then sending them a thank-you note.

No, a satisfying epitaph for me is "Dan, a good guy". I suppose I could live with that.

Anybody happening on this blog - tell me what you think the right epitaph would be for yourself, and what defines greatness in your mind?

Loretta Mae (Weyrick) Slabaugh 1936-2004

Known to all as "Lori", she was born near Cleveland, Ohio to Monroe and Catherine. Lori's father was one of 11 brothers from Elyria, and her mother emigrated with her family from Scotland.

Lori was the first child of Monroe and Catherine, although she had an older half-brother she never met. When Catherine was 13, she eloped. Her mother pursued the newlyweds and forced her daughter to return home, sending the boy away. She had the marriage anulled and gave the subsequent baby up for adoption. Catherine named the boy Frank, a name we can't be sure was kept by the adoptive parents. Where Frank may be today, or whether he still lives, remains a mystery.

Lori grew up on a small farm in Columbia Station, Ohio, and was a teen before her younger brother, James, was born. She was tall with dark brown hair, blue eyes, and fair skin that was easily covered in freckles. In Junior High school, she was walking between classes one day, when a baseball caught her full in the mouth as she rounded a corner. The result was a bridge for her upper front teeth that she wore for the rest of her life.

Ashland College was a small liberal-arts school that was not too far from her Columbia Station home, and she enrolled in their Home Economics program. It was at Ashland that she met Max, who happened to sit next to her in choir. They married while both were still in school, and moved into a cramped married student apartment on campus. Ten months later, Lori gave birth to her first child, Daniel, and dropped out of school. In the meantime, Max took a job loading boxcars on the third shift for a local manufacturing company while attending classes during the day.

Lori was a singer, with a pleasant alto voice, but she preferred singing in choirs or small groups over solo singing. She also proved an excellent actress, landing the lead in the Ashland College production of "A Man Named Peter", where she received great reviews and was recognized as the best actress of the year for the drama club. Telling the story about how she landed the part, she described being placed in the scene for her audition reading. To rattle the auditioners, the director had the prop telephone ring as each girl read her lines. She was somewhat flustered by the unexpected interruption, and her realistic response to the situation was just what they were looking for in the character.

After Max's graduation, they moved to nearby Ohio City, where Max had his first job as a high school teacher, basketball coach, and bus driver. Shortly after arriving in Ohio City, Lori gave birth to their second child, Julie. After only two years in Ohio City, a job opened up near Max's home town of Nappannee, Indiana, and they packed up their family to move to Goshen, Indiana.

In Goshen, they rented a home in a working-class neighborhood while Max worked as Principal, eighth-grade teacher, and basketball coach for an Amish school in the county. Shortly after settling into their new home in Goshen, Lori gave birth to child number three, Jill. The occasion of Dan's 5th birthday brought the family dog, a collie puppie christened "Sam".

Max supplemented his meager teacher's income with summer jobs at a local mobile home factory, later joining a local builder in constructing custom homes. Many summers, Max earned more in the three-month break than he received over the 9 month teaching contract. This allowed them to purchase a modest home in Goshen's growing west side on a spacious 1-acre lot. Max also landed a job with the Goshen schools, teaching 6th grade, for a more lucrative, if still meager, contract than the Amish school.

When she learned that a fourth child was on the way, Lori was distraught. Money was tight, Max was busy between teaching, coaching, and the constant part-time factory and construction jobs needed to keep the family afloat. Complicating the scenario was Max's need to complete a Master's degree, which was then required by the state for teachers to maintain their certifications. Max had to spend two summers in Bloomington to obtain the Master's in Education while Lori scraped by at home with their four young children.

Lori's father died unexpectedly of heart failure while being treated for back pain. He had been experiencing chronic back pain for most of the year, which may have been symptomatic of his cardiac problems which went unrecognized and untreated. Her mother, Catherine, sold their property (they had moved to the Chicago area), and moved in with Lori and Max, where she began helping to care for the children.

Max completed his degree, and friction grew between the similarly strong-willed Mother-in-Law and Son-in-Law, until the solution was reached that moved Catherine into a small rental home just down the street. Catherine worked full-time for a few years before retiring, but stayed close with the family until her passing.

While the children were young, Lori kept busy with parenting, keeping up with a large half-acre garden, canning fruits and vegetables, and enduring the menagerie of a dog (Sam), cat (Cat), Dan's rabbits (up to over 100 at one point), and even Chickens. The variety of pets and other animals created many funny stories and great childhood experiences. The neighborhood had many other children close in age to the family, and her home became the popular gathering place for kids from the neighborhood and later schools and church.

Lori was the ultimate mother, able to keep her children (relatively) well-behaved completely without the threat or use of corporal punishment. Her approach was always gentle and loving, and if she ever said anything she later came to regret, nobody in the family remembers it. For example, if two siblings were fighting, her method was never to take sides, but to order the two to go somewhere private and resolve their differences. The private place of choice was often a bedroom closet, where the two feuding siblings would sit across from each other and eventually burst out laughing, the dispute quickly forgotten.

If the day had been particularly trying or the children rambunctious, Lori would bring out the "quiet candles". This signaled to everyone in the family (including Dad) that Mom has had a rough day, and just wants a quiet evening meal. I remain amazed to this day how well that worked, and some special memories are of those quiet dinners lit only by a couple of candles.

There was always music in the house, and singing was a normal part of everyday life because of Lori. It was even used as a teaching tool, and I still remember the little jingle she made up to teach us our telephone number. When the children reached the teen years, the house was often full of young people on a Sunday afternoon, with 3 or 4 guitarists leading everyone singing (mostly) songs of faith, playing games like "rhythm", and generally having a great time. The family also teamed up with Max's sister Mary's family to do a number of performances for churches and nursing homes.

Lori and Max were sure to keep the family involved in the church, and faith was the most consistent and important aspect of family life. The entire family stayed active with church activities, and all six family members participated in the church choir. The kids also were active in and served in leadership positions for the church youth program; David was elected the National Youth Moderator for the Brethren denomination as a high school senior.

When David entered school, Lori began working full-time. She had previously tried some part-time and temporary jobs, such as substitute teaching, but it was too difficult to be away from her four young children until all were of school age. Eventually, Lori was able to take full-time employment, and worked in primarily clerical positions throughout her working life. Lori never sought a "career", but simply viewed her jobs as means to provide more income to the household. She never allowed any job to interfere with important family events and needs; when Jill gave birth to a grandchild, Lori asked for some time off to help with the new baby. Her employer initially told her they would not authorize the time off. Lori told them she was sorry, but if they would not approve the time off, she would be forced to resign. The employer gave in, and Lori was there to help Jill care for her newborn.

Lori was known as an indispensible member of her department at Goshen Rubber, the company where she was employed the longest. However, even knowing her value to the company, the managers never acknowledged her with any substantial rewards, promotions, or recognition. She finally chose to retire when her supervisor, the department manager, retired himself and recommended her for his position. The company considered offering her the job, schemed to have her take the duties without an increase in pay, then finally gave it to another, less qualified candidate. Although the corporate shenanigans upset her somewhat for a brief time, she never dwelt on injustice, never complained, and just moved on.

After retirement, she worked part-time as the church secretary, but mostly just enjoyed spending time with her grandchildren as much as possible.

Lori was known by everyone as sweet, kind, and generous. She was always focused on others; anyone coming to visit could expect their favorite meal, prepared by the best home cook on the planet. She always showed care and concern for everyone, whether they were experiencing problems or tragedy in life or just needed a warm coat in the wintertime.

Lori lost her youngest son, David, who was killed by a drunk driver on the way home from work. David was 26. It happened on the day that Lori and Max were waiting for him to arrive at David's home to celebrate Max's birthday. David's passing devastated both parents, but Lori never dwelt on self-pity. Everyone was amazed, not only at her strength at such a tragic time, but at how she was encouraging and helping everyone else. Friends and relatives, coming to offer their condolences, would break down and find themselves being consoled by Lori, the very person they were hoping to comfort. She even reached out to the family of the drunk driver, sending a card with a consoling note expressing her sympathies, as he was also killed in the accident. That family was reportedly puzzled and unable to respond to such an unexpected gesture of sympathy and forgiveness from the victim's mother.

She passed away in June from complications of a variety of ailments that assaulted her recently. She had endured about 30 years of diabetes, which was taking a toll on her eyesight and circulation, especially in her legs, where she had serious wound problems and pain that limited her mobility. Two strokes, Uterine cancer, and a pelvic fracture all contributed to the weakness and pain from which she was unable to recover, finally succumbing in June when her kidneys failed.

People who never knew Lori might think she was just an ordinary woman. All of us who knew her would have to strongly disagree. What did she accomplish? Here are just a few examples:

All four children completed 4-year degrees, three at Ashland. One went on for an MBA.

Raised in strong Christian faith, all of her children remain active in the church, including musically, of course. Both daughters are pastors' wives in the Brethren denomination, the same in which she raised her family.

David's wife remarried a Brethren pastor. Max has been a part-time pastor as well since his retirement from teaching.

She leaves behind a husband, 3 children, and 11 grand-children who will always remember the positive influence she had on their lives.

She leaves behind countless people she affected, from school, church, and the workplace, who all learned about love, compassion, and unselfishness from her gentle nature.

In these days of feminist values of selfishness and greed, we need far more examples like Lori to remind us of what is really important in life.

Goodbye Mom. It's taken me this long just to be able to accept your passing. My only hope and prayer is that I can be just half the person you were. I'm sorry I wasn't able to be with you more, especially in your last year. I wish I would have made sure my boys spent more time with you as they were growing - there's so much more they would have learned from you.

Rest in peace, Mom.